Looking back...

puts looking forward into greater perspective. Looking back doesn't have to be painful or guilt bearing; it doesn't have to bring back bad memories of things you wished you never did or things you wished never happened. They did. But life goes on. God (in time) heals you. If you allow Him to. Most of the time it won't be scar-free, but the pain is gone and although a scar remains, it only exists to remind you of God's power and grace.

Come, let us return to the Lord.
He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us;
he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.
-- Hosea 6:1

Sometimes we blame God for our hurt and pain. We blame him for the bad things that happen in our lives or to those we love. I suppose as humans, it seems only logical to blame God because we know he could've prevented it. We know he is all-powerful and can, with one command, tell the storm to calm down. Or even, diminish it altogether. But he doesn't (or didn't) and for that, we blame him. Perhaps even resent him for it.

And we miss the whole point of the hurt and the pain, of the 'bad' things, the relentless storm.

I don't believe God is to blame for the bad things that happen to us. But perhaps because we naturally blame him, Hosea's words echo rightly in our minds: "God, you've injured us!" So God accepts that we blame him (because, stubbornly, we persist in that), but what does he tell us? "I can heal you. Let me heal you." He allows the hurt and the pain, the suffering and even the resentment, only to be the One to heal us from it. So that we can see that only He can truly bind up our wounds.

We will never, truly and clearly, understand God. He is beyond understanding, beyond what we can fathom, or even imagine. That otherness of God is cause for worship, for a deep surrender to the things of God and to God himself. But I love him for his mystery, for his love that I know and experience through Christ, for making every effort to show me that He is a God of real love. Even if that includes my hurt and pain in the process.

Wisdom from the Word

[Job's] wife said to him, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!"

He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"

-- Job 2:9-10

New House Smell

Unlike new cars, new houses don't really have any particular smells. I guess they just smell like those who inhabit(ed) them. If so, then the previous owners of our new place didn't smell like anything at all. But maybe not smelling like anything at all is a smell, just an unnamed one. Or a neutral smell. Anyway, you decide. I'm writing my first blog as the newest member in the community of Evanston. Well, it's been 4 days already, so maybe we're not the newest, but one of the newbies ;) Unfortunately, our internet hasn't been installed yet so I'm using one of our neighbors' signals. It has been a busy couple of days. We moved in just this past Friday and over the long weekend crammed in unpacking and furniture shopping (still!!!). The good thing was we didn't have a lot of stuff to begin with, so unpacking is basically finished (except for "my" room - which is the office). It feels great to finally be in our own place since getting married (not a basement suite, or the parents' basement ;P). I've been on a cleaning rampage since we moved in. I think I've totally inherited my mom's "clean freak" gene. It just needed the right environment to finally emerge! But honestly, we are so blessed. And I know that this house belongs to the Lord. I'm excited to open it up for bible studies, get togethers, random chillaxin, friends from Edmonton AND the Westcoast (hehe).

So that's the upside. The downside? Paying a mortgage, hydro, water, cable, internet, house insurance, tax, etc. Basically, paying FOR the house. Haha. I want the luxury of my own home without the inconvenience of everything else required for getting and maintaining ownership. Too bad real life's not that simple, eh?

On a side note: upon unpacking Dale's old stuff from back in the day, I came across a box load of oooooooold school r&b CDs from the 90s (ie. Tamia, Craig David, 112, Destiny's Child, Kai, Damage, Tevin Campbell, TLC - just to name a few!)... Ah, the good old (young) days!!!

Lit Blog

Every now and then I come across some really intriguing pieces of world literature that do more for me than purely entertain. Admit it. Most of the time, we approach literature (and by literature I also refer to film) with the intent on being entertained above all, and maybe learning something interesting or valuable in the process (if we're lucky...or perhaps, attentive enough?!) Anyhow, there are two recent that are honorable mentions. One's a film, and the other a dystopian novel:

Let's start with the film: Penelope, starring Christina Ricci and (my personal favorite actor right now) James McAvoy.

I won't go into great detail about plot and such, but if you haven't seen it and are planning to, you should maybe skip this paragraph, just in case I spoil some of it for you. I just want to focus on a quote from the very end of the film, spoken by a little boy - one of the students in Penelope's class - that resonates with me and my observation of people who view themselves - their appearance (or something about their appearance), believed inadequacies, etc - with insecurity and perhaps even obsession. Obsession in such a way that it debilitates any healthy notions of self. "It's not the power of the curse, it's the power you give the curse". Isn't that just a fantastic line? And so true. In the film, the "curse" of Penelope's snout is not perceived as a curse to her, but to everyone else, most especially her mother. When Penelope (or more so, her snout) is finally exposed to the world, the hype that was created slowly dies down as she gradually becomes accepted for who she is. The curse breaks not as a result of marriage, or love from another, but when she decides that she likes herself the way she is, snout and all. In ways similar, the "curses" in our own lives are only as potent as the power we willingly (yet perhaps, unknowingly, or stubbornly) attribute it. They need not destroy our lives, but yet we allow them to.

Now to the novel: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

This dystopian novel endeavors to paint a picture of a utopian world void of everything that makes us human, in particular: wrongdoing (sin) and the need for God. In the centuries of effort it took this New World to get to where it is, what occurs is a genetic engineering of humanity: cloned and conditioned (in the most effective and organized way possible) to function in a stable society, within a stable social order that each individual functions to support. Every last detail is explained, so that there does not appear to be any loopholes or gray areas in terms of how the society functions and remains stable. Now of course, what's a good novel without conflict? Somehow there remained a "Savage Reservation" made up of people equivalent to us today, living out humanity: families, love, hate, jealousy, art, religion, passion/compassion etc. One "Savage" (born of a "civilized" parents) is allowed the opportunity to see and live among the "civilized" people, and it is through him that we get the wisdom of this book. A good three chapters are devoted to dialogue between the Savage and the World Controller (President type figure), which makes me wonder if Huxley had a religious background. There's a lot I could quote, but I'll stick with some brief excerpts. These occur in conversation about the un-necessity of God in the New World because life is, essentially, perfect: "Religious sentiment tends to develop as we grow older...as the passions grow calm, as the fancy and sensibilities are less excited and less excitable" (233). Further, "[One] can only be independent of God while [one] has youth and prosperity; independence won't take you safely to the end. Well, we got youth and prosperity right up to the end" (233).

To which the Savage responds:

"If you allowed yourselves to think of God, you wouldn't allow yourselves to be degraded by pleasant vices. You'd have a reason for bearing things patiently, for doing things with courage" (236).

In other words, life is not meant to be perfected. There is, and will never be, perfection because humanity is imperfect. Imperfection is in our blood; rebellion is in our nature, as is the desire to love and be loved. And in that same vein is the natural inclination (combined with grace) to believe in God. Living life and knowing God are not meant to be mutually exclusive. Essentially, they cannot be. God is the Creator of all life and, as much as we run after independence, we are dependent. We will never live in a perfect world that is void of everything terrible - death, war, sickness, suffering, poverty, hate - because such a world cannot exist when those who inhabit it are, by nature, instigators of such. And, among other things, that's why we need God.

Well, that's my review and I could go on but I'd probably bore you to death so I'll stop here. I recommend both if you're looking for an entertaining (and insightful) view and read.

Wisdom from the Word

Expect these posts from time to time. This will be the first of many!

There are times when scriptures and passages in God's Word require a deeper study and contemplation to arrive at an adequate understanding of what is being stated. And even then, another perusal of the same passage at a later time can bring about a fresh perspective. I love how God's Word comes to life even after I've read a particular passage over before. It's the Spirit's doing, of course. But I'm just so amazed at how He really moves to help me grasp the Word in a new light, especially when I am seeking a deeper understanding and application to my life.

Then there are times when God's Word cannot be any more blunt. The truth is simply straightforward and one does not have to be a scholar to understand what is being stated. Of course, we need to have the Spirit to understand what is being said, and more so, to accept it as truth. But the point is, God's Word can be so clear about some things.

Here is one of those "simply stated" passages that will serve as my post:

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One...We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says 'I know him', but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did."

1 John 1:3-2:6

Clear and simple. It definitely spoke to me (italics emphasis is mine) and I have no reason to think otherwise about what it means to know God, because it's right there.

Any passages that you've encountered in your readings that are 'simply stated' like this one. Please, share them with me! I'd love to know how the Lord is speaking to you =)

Gone tomorrow

I consider it a miracle that I've been alive for the past 25 years, knowing that at any time the Lord can take me home. I'm reminded of the (in)stability of life - here today, gone tomorrow. The Bible uses the illustration of life as a vapor or a mist that appears for a while, and then as quickly as it arrived, vanishes. Believer or not, we will all one day face the end of our life here on earth; we will (if we haven't already) one day confront the death of someone dear to us. It's just a matter of time. All things considered, how does the knowledge of inevitable death at any time impact how we live life while we're still here? Rather, how should this knowledge affect our decisions, interactions, perspective? I know that for me, the Lord is teaching me to take for granted LESS the people he has placed in my life and has given to me to love with His love. My husband is only one example, and perhaps the most important person God has given to me. I'm going to be honest. I complain, I nag, I set at times unattainable expectations (that I can't even meet), and what happens? I end up angry, confused, and disappointed most of the time. I overlook what, and who, I have in favor of what I hope to have. In His own way, God has gently been telling me to appreciate, respect, and lavish with love the man I have today because he may not be here tomorrow.

God is sovereign in His actions, that is a sure thing. Although we may not always understand the whys of this life, we can and should put our trust, hope, and faith in the Author of life. Thank you, Lord, that you know all things and you love all those you have made. You give and you take away. Help me, by your Spirit, to trust you still when you choose to take away.

The Exciting News

Say hello to our new house!

Now it's the beginning of real, real life: Paying a mortgage and bills of all kinds! I'm excited (not for the bills part). It's gonna be a whole new adventure for us, and I can't iterate enough how faith-stretching I know it will be as well (it has already been that and we haven't even moved in yet!). The details are almost completely finalized, but it's safe to say that this will be our humble abode for the next 5-10 years...until our family gets too big and we outgrow the place!

So that's the exciting news. No, I'm not pregnant! (Yet) One blessing at a time =)

Trust Lesson (Part 2)

Dale and I have been praying every night for the past week and a half about the present/future plans that we have and are making. One in particular has been my job (as reflected in my blog 3 or 4 posts previous). I was not worried that I wouldn't have work in September because I know that God will provide. Rather, it was the anxiety of the possibility of having to wait the entire summer to find out (and being directionless in planning), especially when my colleagues in the same boat were offered positions at the school. I admit, I got frustrated, disappointed, down on myself, but at the end of the day gave it up to God in faith and with trust. Well, to be plain: I'm staying at the school for (God willing) the next school year. I say "God willing" because, as always, God is telling me that by not working things out completely (for the sake of detailed elaboration, I'll just say it's not completely stable), I need to TRUST Him. That's really all I can do (really; the system is so crappy here!) So that's what we're going to do. It is a faith-stretching experience when things don't 'fall into place', but perhaps that's the point God is making when He doesn't allow the pieces of the puzzle to fit together right away. If He did, there really wouldn't be any incentive to trust Him, would there? Or seek Him. Or persevere in our faith and hope in God. On a larger scale, that can be attributed to many of our unanswered questions, hardship and trials that we experience daily. How are you doing with putting your trust in God?

In a way, I am glad for the uncertainty because I know that the Lord is sharpening me.

Now I gotta do real work at work ;P

Fraidy Cats

I'm talking about the drivers in this city. You'd think that they'd be fearless when it comes to RAIN since they are so used to snow; but no. Apparently, rain is much more menacing and people need to drive "extra slow" because the roads are "really slippery" (quotes are of the radio station). ARGH!!! When it rains, I am surrounded by the slowest drivers in the universe. The usual 15 minute drive to work today became 40 minutes NOT because there was an accident or a stall but because PEOPLE WERE DRIVING SO SLOW!!! It is really really annoying.

And it didn't help that this morning, I needed to be at work early.

Just got home from a day trip/hike in Kananaskis Country. Dale's boss, Rob, wanted to show around their new post doc so he asked us to go for a hike up Mt. Indefatigable. What a name, eh? So we went. It was a BEAUTIFUL day. The hike up the mountain was pretty fun, as much as I huffed and puffed. I only seem to have a hard time at the beginning of a hike, perhaps because my body is getting used to the effort and energy its expending. Like the time Dale and I, Rob and Trace, and my Dad hiked up Sulfur Mountain in Banff, back in 2006. That was pretty hard for me at first, but it was worth the 3 hours in the end with the magnificent view (and we got to take the gondola down!). This time around was much easier, and we worked up a good sweat. We took some beautiful pictures but with Dale's camera phone cuz I forgot to bring my camera =( After the hike we drove over to Canmore and walked around downtown, which reminded me a lot of Whistler Village. Canmore is a beautiful town settled nicely beside the Rockies. Dale and I now have some good ideas of places that we can take our friends who have promised to come visit us from BC (yeah, YOU!)

Afterwards we had dinner at Rob's place. He's married to this wonderful, cute and easygoing lady named Amy who's just as smart as he is (she's a veterinary pathologist). This is the second time we've had dinner at their place and they always cook up a storm of good food. She's due any day now with their first child. They are a super nice couple and, as you can probably tell, really personable with their employees. We got to talking a bit about our involvement in the church and I invited them to come and visit our church one of these days (they know that we are part of the music team) and they said they definitely would. I know that it is not by chance that the Lord led Dale to this job and to have the employer that he does. In fact, to think of situations outside of a spiritual point of view is to think without the wisdom that comes from the Spirit:

"So from now on regard no one from a worldly point of view." 2 Cor. 5:16

I pray that God will give us opportunities to share our faith with this couple the more we get to know them and share a meal together.

All in all, it was a pretty physically productive day. I'm beat, sweaty and sticky all over. Time to get clean!

Wise Words for the Worryer

"Why do you worry? What possible use does your worrying serve? You are aboard such a large ship that you would be unable to steer even if your Captain placed you at the helm. You would not even be able to adjust the sails, yet you worry as if you were the captain or the helmsman of the vessel. Be quiet, dear soul - God is the Master! Do you think all the commotion and the uproar of this life is evidence that God has left His throne? He has not! His mighty steeds rush furiously ahead, and His chariots are the storms themselves. But the horses have bridles, and it is God who holds the reins, guiding the chariots as He wills! Our God Jehovah is still the Master! Believe this and you will have peace. 'Don't be afraid' (Matt. 14:27)."

- Charles Spurgeon

Another beautiful day in the neighborhood! Hope ya'll enjoy it!


This pretty much sums up what I've been doing at work for the past 4 days!

Kidding. Well, kinda =P

I guess I should be catching up on some curriculum reading, planning out potential units, or taking down stuff from the walls. Oh, but doing nothing is just so much more appealing!

Trust

The Canadian Oxford Dictionary defines trust as:

1 a faith or confidence in the loyalty, veracity, reliability, strength, etc., of a person or thing
3 the obligation or responsibility placed in a person who is trusted or relied on

I like these two definitions and they go hand in hand. Putting your trust in someone is exercising faith in their loyalty to you and in their reliability and strength (assuming that they have both, and that you have bore witness to it). To the one being trusted, you have an obligation or responsibility to live up to the loyalty, reliability, and strength that you have been attributed.

Those who love us (like really love us), always tell us to trust them and many have lived up to their demand. Of course, we are only human and are prone to fail (and have failed) someone's trust before - perhaps out of love or just plain mistake. In any case, we trust those who love us (because they want to be trusted) and for the most part, they have remained loyal, reliable, and a source of strength to us.

What more when we put our trust in the unfailing love of our Lord and God, Jesus Christ?

Numerous times in the Word we are told of people who did and did not put their trust in God. While those who didn't reaped the consequences, those who did reaped the benefits. And the Word is so clear of the benefits that come with trusting God in anything and everything:

He answered their prayers because they trusted in Him. 1 Chronicles 5
Those who know your name will trust you, for you, Lord, have never foresaken those who seek you. Psalm 9
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. Proverbs 3

These are just a few! But my heart and mind are comforted by the absolute fact that God can be trusted and obliges himself to fulfill what His Word tells us comes when we trust in Him.

Exciting News!

...But I can't say what it is just yet ;P

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day! It's nice to finally see some sought-after sunny days in this city. Unfortunately, I can't fully enjoy the sun cooped up in my classroom, but it makes the view outside my window very pleasant (and I can wear shorts!). Anyway, here I am again blogging from school. My course exams have all been written and I've finished marking one class set of exams and am half way through another set (I have three total). I don't want to finish too quickly and then having nothing to do for the next week and a half! I'm actually quite enjoying the marking since it's their final exam and I all I gotta do is slap on a number as opposed to correct and comment. That makes my job easier.

I thoroughly enjoyed my Grade 11s this semester. There were some brilliant (and not so brilliant) kids in my class that I would love to know 5 years from now what they pursued after high school. Challenges of all sorts come with the job, but at the end of each day I always feel blessed to be a teacher and to have the opportunity to spend my day with young people (as immature, annoying, and dramatic 'smart alecs' as they can be at times). I am looking forward to really planning effective units that the Lord can use to reveal Himself and His design of life to my students.

So, amidst the easier days at work Dale and I have been house hunting. We saw this nice and new single family house in the new community of Evanston yesterday and, being new at the house hunting business and anxious to get a place and thoroughly impressed with the interior design and decoration of the current owners, we were sold. We made an offer last night (a good 15K less than the selling price, which was just newly reduced 15K) but probably won't get it. We're still waiting to hear back from our realtor. Another offer was made this morning, which was probably better than ours. In any case, we aren't worried or restless. That's the result of trust in the Lord. We know and believe that God's plan for us will prevail if and when we actively seek and trust Him. I'll keep you posted on the house hunt.

Back to marking...

I hate boredom at work. Which RARELY ever occurs because my job is the total opposite of everything that defines boredom...except when school's out, all your marking is done, you don't have any exam supervision scheduled, there's no planning to do, and no one to talk to. Then school can be boring. But I get paid, so I won't complain. I'm very fortunate to have a job that 1) I love, and 2) I don't get bored at. There's always stuff to do (which can be the crappy part of the job at times!).

So here I am at work, bored. So I decided to blog since it's been ages and I have a few things to vent out (and, sadly, no one really to vent to). What are blogs for in one's time of need?

Vent #1: What is up with the weather? I thought we left Vancouver IN Vancouver. For you Calgarians (ie. Mark), you know what I'm talking about!

Vent #2: Why does this city's board of education suck? I may not find out where I'll be next year until the first day of school.

Vent #3: I need a vacation. In response to this, praise the Lord I'm getting one in 23 days! Mayan Riviera here we come!

Vent #4: For the first time since I've been serving in ministry, I feel suppressed and discouraged (as opposed to empowered and encouraged). I guess that's what happens when God is put in a box labelled "One Size Only".

Vent #5: How can we be the light of God's love to the lost when God's love is lost in our own churches?

Vent #6: The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. This isn't so much a vent (although for some, it may be)as it is an observation of life in the last few months.

In spite of my hardship, I give thanks to the Lord because I am learning to lay all of my burdens, worries, and care at His feet. And leave them there. There is the temptation to pick them up again after laying them on the altar perhaps because of the fear that He might do something with them that we don't like, or worse, do nothing at all. Well, even so, what would carrying it again accomplish? The Word tells us to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. Our limited and finite perception of things should cause us to look up at the One who sees all and knows all, and to trust that He has our best interests (although not the most comfortable interests) in mind.

This past weekend, we went to Edmonton for the annual BGCA conference. I always love going to Edmonton because it's home to people that I love and my beloved LGI church family. I wish Edmonton and Calgary were as far away from each other as Surrey and Coquitlam because then we'd be able to fellowship more often. But I thank God for the times that we do, because I cherish them. I am always humbled and amazed at how God transforms lives and reconciles people back to himself. And I am encouraged when I hear and see churches committed to outreach, to building up the body of Christ, and to serving one another in love. That is why the church exists.

It's sad when politics, preferences, and personal agendas destroy churches and relationships. That is a prime example of making Kingdom work about us (as we tend to do) and not about the King. But I know that ultimately the Lord's churches will prevail against the deception and scheming of the Enemy. And I believe that what is from man and not from God will fail. I only pray that humilty would come to the proud before the Lord bends their knees.

I'm trying to remember...

what I was like in 10th grade? Was I as annoying as the Grade 10s that I teach are? Was I as unmotivated and as lazy as the majority of my class is? Were the boys then as obnoxious as they are now? (...Probably.) My 10s are beginning to frustrate me!

Some recent asides:

I love Pancakes. (Not the food, although I like them a lot, but my parents' doggy. She's so cute. She's sleeping beside me as I type, making little doggy involuntary movements and noises. I wonder what she's dreaming about).

Speaking of dreams, I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt that my sister (travelling in Asia right now) got hit by a bus and died. I woke up not remembering my dream right away, but feeling a sense of sadness that something bad had happened. I prayed for her right away. I hope she's doing okay.

My cousin Simon passed away on Saturday. He had been fighting an ongoing battle with leukemia and that coupled with his down syndrome complicated most of his young (12 years) life. Our family had been preparing for his passing for a couple months now because his condition was already starting to get worse last month. God finally decided to end his physical suffering and take him home to be with Him.

Dale has been in BC since Saturday. His lola passed away last week so he flew to Vancouver for her funeral. He's coming back tomorrow night. I know this sounds cliche, but it's true when they say "you don't know what you've got til it's gone". He's only been gone 3 days but I miss him so much! Since moving here and getting settled, we've only really been around and hung out with each other (aside from my family) and when he left I really felt an emptiness and loneliness. Cheesy I know. But he really does complete me.

I'm really cold right now. The house is cold and Calgary is freezing! It's Christmastime in April! =P

My heart is heavy. We hear devastating global news every day but of course, when it concerns people you know, love, trust, admire, the impact is far greater. I don't discount what has been said and taught because I know it was the Word of God and it blessed me, built me up, spoke wisdom into my life. As much as we cannot underestimate the power of God, we cannot underestimate the lengths to which the Enemy will go to deceive and destroy even the brightest, most committed. Let this be a warning that no one is exempt - regardless of status, maturity, age - from deception in any form. We must guard our hearts above all because it is the wellspring of life.

Classroom Creativity

I spent a good chunk of the weekend planning and marking. (Ah, yes, the life of the English teacher). I just read through a bunch of extended metaphors that I had my Grade 10 class write as part of our poetry unit. Some of them are just pure ingenious. I have to share them. Enjoy!
Tree Person

People are like trees
hard on the outside
soft on the inside?
truth be told trees change, evolve, expand
people too

they grow big and tall
long and thick
we stretch, we curve
we stretch, we swerve
we both support the love bird

preparation is key
we all pack it away
for those rough times
when we're out of dimes

always around others
without a choice
we learn to get along
even with age
we find peace and
support each other

||insert HILARIOUS drawing of a tree with arms and its bushel of leaves as hair||

Pillows

Friends are pillows
They come in many shapes, colours
Fabrics and sizes.
They support you through thick and thin.

Everyone has different preferences in pillows,
Just as everyone is compatible with different people.

Different pillows are used for different tasks.
Some are used occasionally
and are there for you in good times,
but some are used daily
and support you in good times and in bad.

Bad pillows become lumpy quickly
but good quality ones
can last a life time.

Pillows add sparkle to any room;
they make any situation better.

Self Cut Bangs & Friends

Friends are self-cut bangs.
Bangs come in all shapes, lengths and
colors, just as people come in all
varieties.

After cutting your bangs, they'll look
awkward or unappealing, and you'll
question why you cut them. Similarly,
when you find yourself settle into a
new group of friends, you may feel
like you don't belong there.

Not long after, you'll discover that your
bangs compliment your look and they
just took a little time getting used to,
just as you feel you're starting to
belong to this new group of friends,
and that your personalities go well
together.

Occasionally, you'll feel as though your
bangs are out to get you and are
purposely not co-operating. Similarly,
you'll sometimes have disagreements
with friends and feel like they're
purposely putting you down.

If you decide that your bangs are
unsatisfactory and completely clash
with your personality, you can opt to
change the style of your bangs. If you
grow tired of your friends, you can just
ditch them, moving on to a more
suitable group.

Throughout life, the style of your bangs
will change like seasons. Likewise,
friends come and go throughout your
life, and it takes practice to find the
niche where you belong.

Hello, Hewlett.

That's the name of my new laptop. You can probably guess why ;P My darling husby surprised me yesterday when I got home from work with a brand spankin' new computer just for me! I've been using my parents' computer to do school stuff because Dale's old Toshiba keeps overheating and shutting down. My ibook has been deficient since last summer. The saying "Once you go Mac you never go back" certainly doesn't apply to me. I told Dale that the next laptop I want will be a PC. So yesterday I come home from work, eat, and go to the computer to check my email, facebook, the usual quick check of random sites. Then Dale says, "Why don't you use your computer to do that." Not catching on, I think he's referring to his computer. So I say, "I don't want to use your computer because it always shuts down on me!" There's a short pause before he repeats the phrase "Why don't you use YOUR computer to do that", with added emphasis on the "your". So here I am today with my new pal Hewlett. He's clothed in a beauty of shiny white. I'm totally in the new computer phase: washed hands before usage, Norton checks every 5 minutes, etc. This baby has 7 hours of battery life!!! I hope he lasts longer than my Apple did.

Anyway, I'm almost near the end of my second week of work. I've experienced an array of emotions since starting, all of which I am continually surrendering to the Lord. There's so much I want to already know and be able to do as a new teacher, but I can't because time isn't on my side. I've only just begun and at this point in my career, it's all about trial and error. I'm trying to get over the superficialities of the job and really develop and improve my teaching practice and knowledge of student learning. This week I realized that I really need to get involved with the school community instead of just hiding away in my classroom, as much as I need to because of all the constant planning/marking that demands immediate attention. One thing I definitely want to learn how to do sooner rather than later is to relax. Flexibility is not something that comes naturally for me. I like doing things according to plan; but I know with teaching that doesn't always happen.

The Lord is continually teaching me what it means to trust Him, rely on Him, depend on Him. It's in the little things as much as it's in the big things that He desires faith to believe that He is who He says He is and can do what He says He can do. I wonder sometimes how unbelievers deal daily with the stresses of work, worries of life, and unexpected circumstances that surround them without God in their life. I know what it's like to live off of the last of the strength left in me and what it's like to draw strength and wisdom from the Lord and nothing compares to the latter. The benefits of living by the Spirit are countless, the foremost being that He fills my soul and the longing deep within that only He was meant to fill. My heart sings praises to His Name!

I'm counting down until the new Office episode begins. Ten more minutes! Welcome back all my favorite actors and most especially the bubbly feelings I get when I see PB & J!

Alberta air...

has dried me out. My hands are cracking like crazy, I'm itchy everywhere, and my contacts feel like they're going to fall out only a couple of hours after I put them in! I knew it would happen because that's how it was before. I'm still waiting for my feet to start up (they haven't yet! and neither has Dale's, so I haven't gotten inadvertently scratched at night yet). Other than that, and the fact that I see my family every day (and Mark and John twice so far), it doesn't really feel like we're in Calgary. Work's the same. So's the kids. It's funny because when I was hired, the principal told me all this stuff about the kids at the school being motivated and very academic, but I have yet to see that because some of the students are straight up slackers. Well, it was only my third day today ;P The English classes are separated into more homogenous groups in terms of academic success. So there are two sets of English classes for each grade. I, apparently, teach the more "academic" kids; the ones who are average to above average (whatever that means). There's a kid in one of my classes getting 27%.

Pictures of my classroom and me hard at work at my desk (haha, more like posing for the camera!)

It's been a busy week and I'm thankful it's the weekend tomorrow! My brother came for a couple of days to visit and we had some after-dinner last night (I say 'after-dinner' because just a couple hours before we had dinner at Sushi Boat) at Joey's with Trace too. She is leaving for Asia next Friday. We got to spend some time together earlier this week and were able to talk about what has been going on with her. In a nutshell, lots has been happening. If you've been praying with me for her (and Rob) please continue to. Here's us siblings at Joey's:



If you didn't notice (but you probably did!), Marybeth shaved her head. She's gutsy and it's crazy but I think it suits her! It reminds me of Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta. She said she wanted to get rid of all her dead hair. I told her she could have just grown out all the dead hair but I guess she really really wanted to get rid of everything, and fast!

Anyway, it's been a few days since I've been able to have some down time. I haven't been able to do my Believing God study yet (I'm on the last week!) so I think I'm going to do that now, and spend some time with the Lord.

...after I have some McD's fries courtesy of John David (the game's on right now and the Davids are over).

Later!

Freedom ends tomorrow.

So today I went in for what turned out to be an interview at a high school (grades 10-12) near the U of C. When I spoke with the principal on Friday about meeting with him today, he referred to our meeting as a 'chat'. Thus, I didn't much prepare or think too deeply about it, except for pray for God's will (of course ;P). I walk into the school this morning, find out its actually an interview, and begin to panic. My heart starts pounding...and then I think 'God, you are something!' I knew he wanted me to completely depend on him because my mind was scattered with a million and one things they could possibly ask me. 'They' being the principal and assistant principal. At the end of the interview (which turned out to be only three questions long taken from three pages of questions!) they offered me the job. It's a mat leave and I'll be teaching English 10 and 11. Thank goodness I have a prep one block!

So, freedom officially ends tomorrow as I'm back in my cave planning like a madwoman. I really need to learn to find loopholes in the system of planning and marking, but I'm not gutsy enough yet...;P

Rockband and other tidbits.

Rockband is, in my opinion, the greatest game created since Bomberman! Thanks to Hasmin, Dale and I are the newest owners of our very own band. I loooooove it. I plan on becoming the expert drummer in our two-person family!

It feels like we're on vacation except all of our clothes and my teaching supplies are unpacked and put away.

We bought the sweetest duvet cover today. 430 thread count. Can you say SOFT! I'm looking forward to sleeping tonight!

For the first time in three years, I'll be waking up early for church ;P The upside: The rest of the day is up for grabs!

Has anyone taken my advice and signed up for blogspot or got back in the habit of blogging? Please, let me know I'm not alone!

Time change.

We arrived last night at 6:30 Pacific Standard Time. It only took us 10 hours! The roads were clear, except for a little bit of snow on the Coquihalla that posed no problems at all. Thank you for your prayers. To God be the glory!

I just woke up from ten and a half hours of sleep. You can say I'm pretty well rested! Pancakes (my parents' dog) is nibbling at my feet. Her way of telling me to come play with her. So I think I'm going to do that for a bit. She's our replacement Charis because she is just as cute! ... Okay, I admit Charis is cuter ;P

Change happens.

I have a hard time accepting change and it's annoying sometimes. I was probably worse before but I still see that side of me surface when circumstances change unexpectedly. But I am (slowly) learning to let go and not always feel like I need to be in control. Because ultimately, I don't. Or I do to an extent, but God always has the final word. It's not what you think, because I know some of you might be thinking that I'm referring to our relocation to Calgary. Well, it has a tiny part to do with it. The moving part. Up until very late last night we had a set plan for moving our stuff over there. Then something unexpected happened and we panicked. We prayed for God's wisdom and direction in the matter, but I didn't leave room for the alternative to what I was anticipating would happen. Like I said, I dislike change, especially in situations where I've planned and prepared for something in advance with expectations for results according to my planning and preparation. In my mind, although the players would change the game would still be the same. Has that ever happened to you? You pray for wisdom but in your mind you presume to know what to do? That happens to me from time to time, and I still fall into the trap that things need to happen my way.

I'm thankful for a very patient and loving husband. Even though there are times when I know he knows whats in our better interest, he still lets me get my way. I put up pretty convincing (often attitude-filled) arguments that are really my tool of manipulation! Today, after we had our bout of disagreement (although it really wasn't disagreement but just me being whiny about having to change what was originally planned) I apologized to him for the way I had acted and gave him permission to put his foot down when I become uncooperative for dumb reasons ;P

To shorten the story, I didn't get my way. It's humbling but at the same time, God is teaching me where to let go and submit and I know that my character is being sharpened, changed, stretched. That's what matters.

We're still leaving tomorrow but it won't be with a U-haul filled with our stuff. Just us and our CRV and everything we can cram into it that we would need immediately.

Please pray for our drive! See you in Calgary. ;P

Moving Week...

T-3 days left in this beautiful city. I don't know what the "T" in that popular phrase even means. Does it mean "time"? Someone, enlighten me. Anyway, here's a quick post before I crash for the night. Firstly, belated Happy Resurrection to all. I say that because it needs to be said for what it is. Christ resurrected three days after he died and remains alive to this day! What glorious hope we have in our God because of what Christ accomplished on the cross and through His resurrection: the forgiveness of our sin, the blotting out of our transgressions, reconciliation with God, victory over death, hope when all seems lost, new life! This is just to name a few. Isn't it remarkable how such a holiday has made its way onto the calendar? God did not want us (believer or not) to forget what He did for us. And each year we are invited to remember corporately (although hopefully we remember daily) and perhaps for some, believe for the first time. Well, it's true whether you believe it or not. And one has nothing to lose by believing and everything to gain!

So Dale and I are spending the last few nights at his parents house since our place is pretty much packed up...well, almost there. It's taking longer than I had anticipated. Probably because I didn't think I'd have so many odds and ends here and there to (aka. junk) that needed to be sorted and gotten rid of. But we're well on our way in terms of packing up. My Dad is flying in on Thursday to help us drive the U-haul to Calgary. People have been asking me "How do you feel about moving?" To answer: I am sad. Moving away from people and places you know and love is never easy and I am definitely going to miss it here. At the same time, I am confident in where God is leading us and what He will do and accomplish in and through us. I don't have doubts but I do have some fears that I have been committing to God. I know that He is in control.

Tonight Dale and I had dinner at Provence, this Mediterranean grill close to UBC. It was basically fine dining because the food was not cheap. Lucky for us, we didn't have to pay a cent (except for tip!). His uncle is the head chef there and for a while now he's been inviting us to come and dine at his restaurant. So tonight we headed over there not knowing what to expect but just knowing that Tito Essex is a superb chef (he always cooks for Dale's family gatherings). To say the least, the food was excellent. It was a six course meal compliments of Tito Essex (he put his own little twist on some of the dishes) and I took pictures of every dish but unfortunately, can't upload them right now but I will later! They will make you drool. It was soo good. So good. Down to the very last bite of dessert! If you've never been, I suggest you pay a visit. It's a bit pricey but it will definitely be worth it.

I think I'm going to head to bed now. I've been making a habit of sleeping late these days when I want to wake up early, and then when I wake up the whole morning has almost gone by! Goodnight folks.

Photoblog

Because our laptop is slow and for some reason Mozilla won't upload in Facebook (or maybe it's just because our computer is SO slow), I've decided to post some pics here of random occasions last month and just recently =) Enjoy!

Click HERE for our group photo at our goodbye gathering. I decided to put a link because resizing it would only blur all of the beautiful faces!


03.17 Indian dinner with the Pongs, Paraisos, and Booj! (My first time having Indian food!)

03.16 Andrew, Dale, Justin, and Ant

03.16 With the Estebans and Licuds (and their cute baby boys!)

03.16 Friends since middle school!

03.16 Prodd praying for us

My favorite baby (and god daughter)

03.01 The closest I got to Beth Moore ;P

03.01 Living Proof Ministries - Conference

03.01 Posing after the conference

02.23 My elementary friend Sherry! First time we've seen each other in 12 years!

02.16 Charis' superman!

02.16 Again with my favorite baby!

It's finally starting to sink in.

I think up until today, the fact that we are moving had not really hit me as reality. And yet, the reality of our move is fast approaching (12 days!!!). Probably a big part of why it had not quite sunk in yet was because we hadn't started packing. But this week is packing week because I'm done work now that it's Spring Break for the schools. I'm so not looking forward to getting up tomorrow knowing how much there is to do.

Today was our goodbye gathering at Solid Rock. We will definitely miss our church family and the people we have grown with spiritually over the last couple of years. The church has truly been a blessing to both of us and although I am sad to leave, I look forward to taking what the Lord has wrought in my life through these years to Calgary and shining for God there. Although Solid Rock is small, their faith is big and their love for God is genuine. I have definitely learned that size means nothing when it comes to what a church should be all about. I'm sure its size has been judged by some as a reflection of what seems to be not happening that is supposed to be happening (rigorous evangelism, outreach, saving souls, etc), but really when you go back to the Word of God, nowhere does it place size or numbers as the defining factor of an effective and "growing" church. Nowhere is numbers even a goal. When we think "growing" in relation to church ministry, the first thing that always comes to mind is numbers. On the contrary, Jesus' commission to his disciples before he ascended into heaven was: "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them...and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded them." The Acts 2 church devoted themselves to serving one another and to growing together in the Word and in their love for God and for each other..."And God added to their number daily those who were being saved." God multiplied their number according to their faith in Him and their love for one another.

Thank you, Solid Rock, for being an instrument of God's love in my life over the past three years. You will be deeply missed.

"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." Ephesians 4:11-13

Our spiritual giftedness is meant to build up the body of Christ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God. And we all do not possess the same giftedness. But with the giftedness that we do possess, whether for example it be teaching or preaching or evangelizing (as some are definitely called by God to do full time), we are called to exercise them by the power of the Spirit for the building of His kingdom. Regardless of whatever gifts God has bestowed upon us, we are ambassadors of Christ. All of us. At any given time or place. That mandate to us as Christians is set in stone.

God has truly allowed my love for His church to grow, not just the local body of Christ that I am a part of, but His universal church of believers all over the globe. I know and believe that the greatest testimony to unbelievers in our generation is not necessarily words but actions - a living testimony of the reality of Christ at work in one's life. Words take a back seat when it comes to what you believe. People aren't so much convinced by what you say than they are by what you do. When Christians preach love and forgiveness to the world and yet fail to love and forgive those within their own church walls, we show the world a distorted - even futile - picture of our message. Tragic but true. And we wonder why they don't believe.

I have only touched the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, in terms of really loving others with the love that Christ first showed me on the cross. And I mean really loving others. It's always easier to love those who are easy to love and difficult to love those with personalities different from us or who we just don't get along with for whatever reasons. It's also always easier to praise, admonish, and encourage others we love than it is to rebuke, correct, or speak the truth in love to those close to us. I'm working on that one.

So it's finally starting to sink in. I have mixed emotions right now, so I can't really describe how I feel about the changes that are about to take place. I'm excited and scared, joyful and sad, anxious and at peace, at times uncertain. But one thing's for sure, God will be with us wherever we go.

Down memory lane ... http://www.xanga.com/mizzd

Wow, 3 posts in one day. That is downright illegal. But I just had to write this one.

I'm being washed over by tidal waves of nostalgia as I read through my old blog on xanga. It's crazy how long I was a faithful blogger for. Like 5 years! I can't believe how much I wrote, and how often. I was a bit wordy at times, hehe. I think I still am ;P I wrote a lot while I lived in Edmonton. Maybe I'll pick up that streak again when we move to Calgary? Something about living in Alberta... What I'm finding to be really interesting about delving into the past through my blog is knowing that that was me, but a younger me, in a whole set of circumstances different from where I am today. Past circumstances that preceded those in my present and that wrought in me a character that would build into the person I am today. What is encouraging to me as I read is seeing how the Lord was so real to me in the circumstances that I faced, as I blogged about it so freely. Whether it be the pressure of finals, challenging courses, ministry, sibling rivalry, my keyloid! (Kelly!), boyfriend issues, you name it! This week in our women's study Believing God, we learned about the power of memory and how God often acts on what He remembers, and how we are likely to do the same (more so with bad memories than good do we act upon). When I read through my old blogs and see how God was at work in my life back then, I remember His faithfulness and that gives me hope to continue forward in my faith knowing that as sure as God was faithful then, He will be faithful now and in the future. I can count on it. Glory to Him!

I'm having so much fun! I highly suggest all you bloggers read through your past blogs and see how you've changed since then, what you've learned, and how your life has unraveled and God has been there all along.

For some strange reason, I feel less scholarly and less eloquent with words now than I did back then. Haha. Maybe because I was in the prime of my university days surrounded by intellects and academics hungry for more education, bigger words, bright ideas, bigger bank accounts, a bunch of letters beside their name.

Now I spend my days with a bunch of teenagers. They keep me on my feet!

--

In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.

T.S. Eliot

--

Endpic:

Speaking of KELLY.



A reminder of His miracle.

Dedicated to the youth...

Last night we had what was pretty much my last youth fellowship since we are moving in three weeks. We meet every other Friday so I don't see the kids every week in that setting, although I see them at church all the time so I've learned a bit about each of them and their unique, quirky personalities. We played Taboo (the game the youth have come to love...and become good at, hehe), then I shared a bible study lesson on Abraham's faith (which I know can't be captured in one one-hour lesson) in particular living by faith during times in our lives when we don't know why something is happening or what will happen next. Then we shared our prayer requests and closed in prayer. On the surface it wasn't any different from other fellowships that we've had. But inside, I felt a difference.

I am sad to be leaving them not because I'm worried about what will happen to the group, I'm not, but because although I've been at Solid Rock for two or so years, I feel that it is only now that I am really starting to get to know them and to see their need for godly people in their life that they can relate to and be transparent with, especially since they are older than when I first met them (they've transitioned from tweens to teens). I've never laughed so much with (and at) them in the whole time that I've known them as much as I did last night. Back in 2006 when the group was first formed, the youth weren't even youth yet. I struggled with God in how I could minister to these kids who were much younger than the age group I had previously worked with and had grown a comfortability with. I felt like I didn't know how to relate to them, much less teach them God's Word in a way that they could grasp and apply to their lives. I honestly felt inadequate. But what God wanted to do was to teach me to depend on Him for what He could and would do in the present, not solely on what He did in the past and on what I found worked for me in the past. He is so much bigger than the box we tend to put him in! God whispered, "Give them your time and I'll do the rest." So we started to meet together every other Friday and, by His grace, have continued to do so. The Lord inspired me with what to teach through His Word, and gave me the words to say as I taught. And today I can say with all my heart back to Him that His words "will not return empty but will accomplish the purpose for which it was sent" (Is. 55:11).

There is a vibrant, joyous faith that characterizes the youth of Solid Rock. They are young but they have joy and that is something you don't often see among young people today. I know it's because they know Jesus and desire to grow in their knowledge and love for Him. Last night we talked about having faith like Abraham; faith that believes even when results don't happen right away; faith that trusts God despite insurmountable odds; and faith that waits. I have experienced a testing of my faith (and continue to do so every day) and God has proved Faithful every time. I believe with all my heart that because these youth belong to God and because He is the one who put this group together, He will be faithful to complete the work He started and whisper opportunities of service in the ears of the willing and obedient.

To the youth, I will miss you. I pray that your faith in the Lord will not waver as the changes in life will tempt it to. You are dearly loved by the Lord and I hope that you will let Him show you just how much He loves you each day of your life.

Sickos

Six days of sickness and counting. It caught me by surprise because I rarely get sick! At first, I didn't mind it because feeling feverish and complaining of the onset of a sore throat turned my husband into the most caring man ever! He cooked, cleaned, and answered my every beckon. Then the dry coughing and hacking started. Then he caught it. Then came the sleepless nights entertained by the chorus of "Cough and Hack", me the melody and Dale the harmony. Then we were both miserably sick. Still are, just minus the miserable. I have a respiratory infection among other things. We're better today than in the past six days, but hey, being sick together is better than being sick alone and envying the other's health! I'm not looking forward to sleeping though. Why? Because I've been coughing so hard it keeps me awake. I get a tickle in my throat and it's over for me. My asthma has only aggravated my cough to the point where I can't even breathe properly when I'm coughing. I just want this sickness to be over!

I need to pause to hack and spit. //PAUSE//

I just ate an orange creamsicle. Creamsicles are good. I haven't had much of an appetite lately. When you're sick food doesn't taste the same. In fact, it doesn't have much taste. Like right before my creamsicle I had a deep dish pizza, but it totally did not grab me like it normally does. It just tasted like tomato sauce and salt. Sucks. I think the only thing I really enjoyed eating this week was shrimp fried rice . Dale and I were craving corn soup and fried rice on Thursday. Since we were too weak to cook anything for ourselves (and surprisingly, strong enough to drive over to the restaurant and pick up our food) and it was Thursday (Takeout Thursday is takeout day) we decided on Chinese and boy, was it good. I think it tasted so good only because we were craving it.

I am definitely thankful for the strength God has supplied me with this week amidst this dreadful cough and cold. At times like this, there is the temptation to give in to the helplessness of my physical estate, even though I know I'm not completely helpless and can do things, as bad as my cough is. Of course, when I really can't function properly because my body is weak, I have to give in. And I do. But sometimes "being sick" can be an excuse to evade stuff, and I'll admit to using it as a cover sometimes. But God always gives me extraordinary strength to do what He has called me to do.

Food for thought....literally and figuratively!

Lately, I've been totally diggin' deep dish pizzas from Costco. I think they are a Sabatorini brand or something like that. Regardless, they are just so good. I don't think I will ever get sick of them *cross my fingers* But I won't be surprised if one of these days I do because I've been eating them like every other day! The only downer is that every time I eat one I always burn the roof of my mouth because I can't wait for it to cool before I start eating it. And, and I'm being literal here, I savor every single delicious bite of sausage-cheese-green pepper goodness. I honestly take my time chewing and biting and biting and chewing. Just like I do when I eat mini eggs. I love mini eggs. They are my utmost favorite chocolate any time of the year, any day of the week, after any meal. Hands down.

Yes, food is good. But as Jesus said, "Man cannot live on bread alone..."

I don't really consider myself a "smart" person. And by smart I mean academically, since that is the measurement of intelligence these days. When I think of smart, I usually think of doctors and nurses. Maybe because they deal with the human body, something I can't easily explain or understand. But I also think of historians and professors, those who study literature and can speak in highly structured forms and conjure literary conundrums. Either way, my personal definition of "smart" always has something to do with being super analytical and well-spoken, and I know that lot of other professions fall into that mix (don't get offended now! ;P). Even though I often awe and, I confess, a tad bit envy those considered intelligent by academic proportions, I have become all the more convinced that intelligence is nothing compared to wisdom and both are not of the same vein. One can be smart or intelligent and yet a fool in God's eyes. Likewise, one can be wise and yet "dumb" by the world's standards. You may be smart, but a fool; or wise, but considered stupid.

"The foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God stronger than man's strength."

What's more...

"For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."

And lastly,

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

While intelligence is nurtured in education and academics in our day and age, wisdom is begot by a reverent fear of God. While intelligence rationalizes wrong-doing and self-centered gain, wisdom admits when it has acted otherwise and cares for the hurts of others in the process. While intelligence says, "I'll believe God when I see God", wisdom says, "I'll live by faith because there is nothing to lose." While intelligence boasts in its rewards and acclaim, wisdom is humble. What does it have to boast when it is Christ's reward? While intelligence retaliates when it's fur coat of pride is jeered at (or competed with!), wisdom is grateful for each kink in its armor. While intelligence hopes for the best when it encounters something it cannot fix or change, wisdom prays without ceasing. While intelligence says "Why is this happening to me? I'm a good person. I shouldn't be suffering like this?!", wisdom cries, "Lord, what are you teaching me? How do you want to change me? Help me to trust in you!"

If the things that come from God, revealed through His Word, are foolishness to us, then maybe we do not have the Spirit of God, as Paul states. If we, having professed to be His followers, do not accept the rebuke or conviction that the Spirit gives and much more, continue in disobedience and sin and reject correction, then it is likely that we are not genuine, true believers in Jesus Christ, as Paul reveals. Of course, don't get me wrong. I am not talking about perfection here but rather, humility. We all experiences struggles in our journey of sanctification because our human nature is what it is - human. And it will resist change. But what counts is a life willing to be changed, desiring and striving for a Spirit-led, Spirit-filled existence with abandon and free from rationalization.

I've heard the saying "You can't judge me" one too many times. What does that even mean and why do people resort to that statement as a weak defense? What is one defending? Or rather, rationalizing? Truth be told, "The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment: 'For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?'

Likewise, "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

Doesn't God's Word just paint a clear picture of wisdom for you? It does for me. And as I continue to journey with my God, the picture becomes even more clearer. And what's more, I'm a part of the painting because my life is hidden in Christ and Christ's life is in God.

Blessed hope!!!

Hey Beautiful Day!

I will miss these warm sunny days. I miss them when all we see is rain every day. After a morning of spiritual refreshment, we're out to enjoy the sunshine...and run some errands. I'm not a fan of running errands because they just remind me of how I'm getting old and that I need to keep track of bills. Oh the life of an adult. So many things to do so little time. We hope to get a chance to enjoy the city that we are leaving behind, especially because we are leaving it behind. I think when we visit from time to time, that is when we will actually take advantage of what Vancouver has to offer. We always stay in sucky Surrey ;P

Blog more later. Enjoy the day in Christ!

¡Hola! So since my last post I've acquired a part time position teaching none other than Español 9 y 10 at at high school near our place. If I bust out some Spanish forms in my writing, you'll know why! It was pretty unexpected and totally caught me off guard but since it wasn't full time and not English (I figured I'd still have a life for the last two months that we're here) I accepted the offer. Last week, I was scheduled to TOC for a Spanish teacher that I had been in for once last semester at this school. Turns out she was on a leave of absence from full time teaching and can only teach part time. Second semester started last Monday and two of her classes had to have substitutes because they hadn't hired anyone for the position. Apparently, no one applied for it; Spanish teachers are hard to come by. So I came in and when the admin found I out could speak Spanish (to some extent) they asked me if I'd be willing to take on the position until I move. So I said yes and here I am. Week 2 has just finished and I hope the kids are learning something! Hahaha It's been fun. I love Spanish! I'm not fluent but I like to think I have a convincing accent. When I think through what I want to say before I say it, I think I come across as sounding close to fluent. It's so bad! I'm technically not even qualified to teach it but from what I've been hearing, a lot of language teachers aren't and just do because there's a need! The Modern Languages department head teaches four blocks of French and can't really speak French (so I've heard). Anyhow, Spanish 9 is beginner and Spanish 10 is just a step up...so far I haven't had huge issues with the teaching since it's just been basic grammar and thematic vocabulary. My memory of my high school Spanish classes have helped me a lot in planning for dynamic yet essential grammar and vocab lessons. Kudos to Ms. Rossi (turned Mrs. Gallo) for doing a fine job of making Spanish one of my favorite classes in high school!

It's another dreary day here in Vancouver. Surrey. Hace mal tiempo :( The both good and crappy thing about the school I'm currently teaching at is that they have two insane 2 1/2 hour blocks on Fridays but the school day ends at 2:10. There are only three blocks a day during the week, with the last block of the day being a little less than 2 hours long. It's such a weird system and I'm not yet quite used to it (I don't know how the students can be either!). It's waaaaay too long. I'm currently supervising an IT class right now. My Spanish 10 class was this morning and the school asked me to cover for a teacher for the afternoon so here I am fervently awaiting the day to be over. Half the students aren't even working (how can you when there's a computer right in front of you and access to facebook and online games?) and I'm too lazy to be the disciplinarian today. Plus, they're seniors. And we all know how hard it is to tell 16 year olds what to do. Especially during the last block of the day. Especially since I'm a substitute. So I'm just watching the clock tick away. Forty five more minutes!!! :(((

Valentine's day was fun this year. For a number of reasons. Some of which shall remain anonymous ;P Dale cooked me a grand feast of greens (including porchetta (sp?), asparagus, roasted tomatoes y fresh parmesan), rib eye steak, garlic prawns, and mashed potatoes (which I made, hehe). I brought some for lunch today. It was MmmMmm good. I'm lazy to cook but I love to eat. I'm lucky that Dale loves cooking and cooking new things. We went to Chapters last week so that he could check out some cook books. We sat in Starbucks reading, Dale with his four different cook books and me with my entertainment magazines and books about brain teasers. And I'm supposed to be an English teacher?!?!

I just looked up from the screen to see five students playing Tetris, two on Facebook, two actually doing work, a few surfing the net, and the rest listening to music on their computers. Should I say something, do something, get mad? Hmm. Ok, back to my blog. WELL, they know what they have due on Monday that they should be working on. They know if they are passing/failing the class...I'm a terrible substitute!

Fine. I'll go do my rounds! Thirty minutes to go!

I thought I'd write a few lines before the day is done. I didn't have work today which worked out nicely for me considering I didn't feel like going in to work today. Instead I went to the gym (first time in almost two months!!!) and then grocery shopping. My crazy work schedule of the past weeks didn't give me time to go to the gym so I was happy that this morning I could and did. I spent a good hour and a half at the grocery store afterwards, taking my time looking at random stuff that I didn't end up buying, but buying stuff that we needed. We have couples' bible study at our house tonight and I've decided to make tacos! I wanted to make my version of "macho nachos" but unfortunately, our oven isn't working. Correction. HASN'T worked for the past seven months. Not because it can't be fixed but because my husband has not made any attempt to try to get it fixed. It's been an annoying to-do item that has come up time and again with nothing done. And what would be the use now since we're moving out soon! At least we have a toaster oven. That has been my saving grace. Argh. I get so mad thinking about what we could make (and the amount we could be making) if we only had a functionable oven. ANYWAY.

I'm going to start cooking in a bit. I've spent the afternoon doing my "Believing God" study and watching Beth Moore on DVD. That woman is a blessing. The Lord has used her to speak His truth into the lives of so many women (mine included) and it just brings me to tears what He imparts through her life and her testimony. I'm really excited to see her live at the end of this month. The women at our church are attending a conference at the Pacific Coliseum where she'll be speaking. I'm looking forward to a powerful, God-filled time. I'm also excited to bring this study to Calgary. I've shared with my Mom about how this study has been enlightening the eyes of my heart and mind to God's truth and BELIEVING God's truth in its entirety for my life, and she's excited to do the study and have the women at their church do it as well. I'm praying for direction and a pure heart.

I have had to bear witness to some very terrible news in the last week and I covet your prayers. My cousin was involved and charged with a crime that resulted in the loss of a young teenage boy's life. We (as in my relatives, his family, the community) don't know the facts yet and are waiting on the results of DNA testing and further analysis of evidence, but he has been identified in the media as the one to blame. What has happened is both a shock and a tragedy, but I believe with all my heart that the Lord can allow good to come from something so horrible as this. Please pray for the truth to be brought to light and that justice will be served. That said, please also pray that the Lord would have mercy on my cousin and that he will be found innocent of the charges against him. Please also pray for the family who lost a loved one to this violence.

We hear and read news every day that is tragic more than it is uplifting. Death is plastered all over the TV and newspaper, whether it be death from gang violence, murder, rape, suicide, or accidental death. We are almost desensitized to its existence in our communities and often gloss over what we already know because it happens so often. But when you know the person(s) involved, whether victim or assailant, it changes everything. You feel pain and sorrow, anger and rage, sadness and remorse. I know I feel these things. Even though I don't know the facts, I know my cousin and it is so hard to believe that he could have been capable of doing what he is charged with doing. We need answers, Lord. You are a God of justice but also a God of love and forgiveness. I pray for Your will to be done in this.

That's all I have to blog about today.

Working hard at hardly working

I guess monthly blogs is what it has become for me. It's already February 1st tomorrow! I swear, every time I write "time flies" it just blows me away how true that really is. Time flies. The new year has already rang in some unexpected surprises and faith stretching predicaments which I'll blog about in a bit. Today is my last day of work at this particular high school. After six long weeks. Well, technically my last week of "real" work (teaching) was last week since this week has been devoted to exams. I've basically just been chillin since Monday, which is a very nice way for me to end six weeks of stress! That isn't an overstatement. Even though I love my job and the students (sometimes) the amount of effort and time that goes into planning and marking especially with English is insane. So "stress" is the perfect descriptor. Thankfully, the Lord always rescues me from my whims of self-dependence and when He does, oddly and at the same time divinely, the stress lessens and I see myself in the bigger picture. Honestly, that has happened quite a few times in the last 6 weeks. Praise Him for his grace towards us! Well, because I'm super organized and super anal about leaving things to the last minute (ie. report cards, marking, cleaning) I planned and prepped well in advance that this week would just be smooth sailing. So pretty much I have nothing to do right now and I'm getting paid to sit in my classroom for 7 hours. Which, as I anticipated, would get very boring so I'm armed with a good book and the internet, of course! And so here I am.

I was pretty fortunate to have good classes and easygoing students. There were, of course, your usual slackers, skippers, super geeks (I had an enriched English class) who won't settle for 99%, and average joes, but all in all the students were great and management wasn't too much of an issue save for the one or two exceptions. The rewards of teaching come in many different forms. For me, most came at the end of the day when students would come by my room just to say hi or to chat about their future plans. Or when they'd leave my class and take the time to yell out "Bye Ms. B!" before they walked out the door. I know I will miss that.

Enlarging our territory...

So after the results of a med application and job interview, Dale and I have decided to move to Calgary. It's a surprise in many ways and yet also not a surprise. Since last year we've been praying for direction and leading in our lives as I was finishing up my program and as Dale was considering applications to med schools in Alberta and at UBC. Calgary was always an option since we visit there often and apparently teachers are in demand. So it's been a prayer of ours although it has only been a couple of months that we've been bold in asking God for Calgary. To make a long story shorter, two weeks ago Dale heard back from UBC (he didn't get in to UofC or UofA) and unfortunately was not invited for an interview (he was only one point off!! God definitely has a sense of humor). A couple of days later I get a call from the Calgary Board of Education inviting me for an interview to take place in Vancouver since one of their recruiters was onsite at UBC. On the day of the interview I got offered a job. Yes, I know. Definitely not a coincidence but an answered prayer. So God willing we will be relocating at the end of March as I am supposed to start work the first week of April.

We're excited and looking forward to what the Lord will do in and through our lives over there. Although ideally I would have liked a bit more time to prepare and train people in the ministries that I lead at the church, I am not worried about what will happen because God will stir the hearts of His people because it is His church. No one is indispensible. As someone once said, "We are all pencils in the hand of God." I am humbled by that fact because it reminds me that really I am a nothing that is made into something by God. I have nothing to boast because if it were not for the Holy Spirit in me compelling me to serve and to love His church, I wouldn't be serving. I would have no desire, capability, or strength if God does not give these to me. I serve because I love God and I love his people. It's very easy to "do" a lot of things in the name of Christ yet for all the wrong reasons, whether it be to please God, please people, ease a guilty conscience, feel good about ourselves, etc. But what we always need to remember (and which I was pleasantly reminded of at yesterday's prayer meeting) is that like Abraham, our faith in God is credited as righteousness. We are pleasing, righteous, holy to God because of our faith in what Christ has done for us. Everything done after that is in gratefulness to God's love towards us and in response to His heart for people.

That's my sermon for today ;P

I think I'm going to go enjoy my book now and maybe have a cup of tea to pass the time on this rainy Thursday morning. Three and a half hours to go and then I'm home free!!! Yipeeee!

Opening Remarks

I've heard the saying before: "How you spend New Years is how you will spend the rest of the year." Or some variation of something along those lines. And "New Years" referring to the eve celebrations welcoming the new year. Well, spending an entire year in the warmth and presence of my family is definitely what how I'd like to spend the next year. It was pretty much just us this year (minus tracy, rob, and mark), plus one uncle and a small family from my dad's church. We watched the hockey game (sorry Canucks) while eating steamed lobster, beefsteak, baked potatoes, and baked salmon; played some boggle and take 2 (*cough* scored 133 in one round) and speed 2; watched Kingdom of Heaven and paused it somewhere to countdown the new year; and then recontinued the movie until its end at around 2am. Pancakes, my parents' new pup, slept in between Dale and I while we were watching the movie. As I watched her all curled up in the warmth of us, I imagined her as our baby. We even call her baby and honestly, the way we both talk to her is the way we talk to babies! Perhaps it was a foreshadow of the upcoming year...;P She's too cute. I was never really fond of dogs growing up. Perhaps because I was always allergic to them (and still am), namely to ones that shed fur. But Pancakes seems to be the exception. I love her!!! She's so playful and every time she sees me when I come into the kitchen in the morning, she stretches her small self over the cardboard boundary that keeps her in the kitchen and wags her little tail furiously in delight at my presence. *sigh* I want a baby. A baby dog that is. Heehee.

New Years eve used to be such a huge deal for me as a teenager. I always wanted to spend it with lots of family and friends together and after countdown, stay up as late as possible because who wants to sleep when a new year just rang in. Not me! Well, of course things change and now I'm happy with dinner, boardgames, and a movie (gotta have those boardgames!) with family. I'm even happier because I have Dale to spend the rest of my life's new years with. That fact makes every celebration a happy one.

2008 will be a wonderful year because I have a wonderful God. I want my faith to explode and my knowledge and love for the Lord and His Word to increase as I seek His face, His will, and His life in and for my life. I know that God will bless me because that is His promise and His desire. I know that God will walk ever more closely with me because as I abide in Him, His Word says "I will abide in you." True, I don't know what events will occur this year or where I will be 12 months from now, but I have a God who does and I'm trusting in Him and believing that He is faithful.

So, here's to a new year filled with every blessing of new life in Christ! Live by faith, not by sight!