Christmas has always been the most wonderful time of the year for me, for a few different reasons:
1) The perks of being a teacher include holiday breaks.
2) The food, holiday drinks, and baked goods that readily come this time of the year.
3) I don't feel guilty of wasting time if I watch two or three Christmas themed films. In a row.
4) Spending time with family.
5) Receiving Christmas greeting cards in the mail.
6) Receiving Christmas gifts. And giving them, too ;)
7) Festive house decorations.
8) The anticipation of a new year approaching.
The last one on the list is both wonderful and daunting at the same time. For some reason, I usually get anxious around New Years Day. It's such an ironic and unsettling feeling to experience shortly after Christmas. I don't know if it's because I start thinking about going back to work and all the planning I have to do, or if it's the realization that I'll be adding another year to my life, or if its the fear of not knowing what the new year is going to unveil. I can't quite put my finger on it. Regardless, while this time of the year is wonderful for many different reasons, it also brings about some stark realities and reminders about life, love, and lessons learned and in need of being relearned. Which I guess can be called wonderful because it helps to make me a better person, Child of God, wife, mother, friend, sister, teacher, fellow human being.
I will share some of these stark realities as I take up my blog yet again.
For now, cheers to the wonderment of another year end and a new year beginning!
12.30.2012
3.09.2012
Blog Series: The Faith-filled Life of the Righteous
Anecdote No. 6: Deserving Justice, Receiving Mercy
I recently watched a segment on Dr. Phil about the horrific acts of a father and mother towards their daughter. The atrocious injustices experienced by this now eighteen year old girl left me speechless at the sinfulness of humanity and the evil that lurks behind closed doors and within families. The father raped his daughter over the span of five years. She was pulled from school and locked in the camper of a truck where she was held against her will. Over that span of time she gave birth to four of his biological children. One child survived, two died of negligence, and one was stillborn. The mother knew of the abuse and did nothing to protect her daughter. She was finally rescued when her younger sister, amidst murderous threats from their father, spoke out and informed the police of what was going on in their home.
This is just one of the countless stories of horrific abuse, violence, terror that flood the media on a daily basis. As I watched this girl tell her story publicly for the first time since she was rescued, I couldn’t help but ask God why this terrible thing happened to an innocent child. For the Christian who believes wholeheartedly in the sovereignty of God over all life, questions such as these are hard to ask. They are even more difficult to try to answer.
My delve into R.C. Sproul’s writing has unveiled an unprecedented glimpse of God’s holiness and God’s mercy. I feel like I’ve only just begun to truly understand the gravity of depravity that pervades the human existence. The Bible essentially reveals that no part of humanity has been unaffected by the Fall. No one has an ounce of righteousness. No one even desires to seek God, much less actually seek Him. Granted, we know of people who seek (and perhaps even we ourselves) the benefits that knowing God gives such as peace, purpose, selflessness, and the like. But ultimately, we don’t seek to know God. To be fair, we can’t even if we wanted to. But the catch is that we, guided by our sinful human nature and inclinations, don’t want anything to do with a Holy God. As Sproul writes in “The Holiness of God”:
“The struggle we have with a holy God is rooted in the conflict between God’s righteousness and our unrighteousness. He is just, and we are unjust. This tension creates fear, hostility, and anger within us toward God. The unjust person does not desire the company of a just judge. We become fugitives, fleeing from the presence of One whose glory can blind us and whose justice can condemn us. We are at war with Him unless or until we are justified. Only the justified person can be comfortable in the presence of a holy God.”
But
God justifies. God justified. Romans 5:1 says “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.”
Wow. Peace with God. Justified through faith and now standing in grace. I should add (from Ephesians 2:8-9), it’s by God’s grace that we are given the faith to believe what He says about who we are, who He is, and what Christ has completed on the cross. Without truly attempting to understand (by His grace, of course) that my salvation is entirely dependent upon God’s grace and mercy and not upon anything I have done (even in “choosing” Christ – this is inaccurate because I didn’t choose Him! He chose me!), I had never truly appreciated and truly awed at the grace of God towards me. This revelation has me awestruck at God and His mercy, His love, His wisdom.
So, what remains is the connection between all this and my initial words on evil and innocence. I believe that God is sovereign over all, even over the evil desires within a person’s heart. He is sovereign over free will (the strongest inclinations we have at each moment which directs our choices) and although we may struggle, as I have and do, with this notion, His divine counsel uses the evil inclinations and evil intentions of sinful people to bring about His own redemptive purposes. It’s easy to call God “unjust” when He allows people to continue in their free-will-driven-joy-ride of sin, when in fact it is justice that prevails. God has mercy on whom He will have mercy. The rest receive justice (Romans 9:14-16). Believe it or not, we are already condemned to a life of spiritual death because of the sin in us. Our choices always lead us to gratify the desires of our sin nature. Until and unless God so chooses to have mercy on us.
Friend, it’s a hard truth to grasp, yes. But for those who have been made righteous, it is truth that changes, or should change, the way we live and pray and interact with God and others in this life. Stories are still being written and God’s mercy still pursues. The "unless" still remains on the rest of creation, according to God's divine wisdom. Persistence in intercessory prayer and pleading don't go unnoticed (recall the widow's story in Luke 18) - God is merciful. Let us press on to acknowledge Him.
“I will call them ‘my people’ who are not my people; and I will call her ‘my loved one’ who is not my loved one...unless the Lord Almighty had left us descendants, we would have become like Sodom, we would have been like Gomorrah.” (Romans 9:25, 29).
I recently watched a segment on Dr. Phil about the horrific acts of a father and mother towards their daughter. The atrocious injustices experienced by this now eighteen year old girl left me speechless at the sinfulness of humanity and the evil that lurks behind closed doors and within families. The father raped his daughter over the span of five years. She was pulled from school and locked in the camper of a truck where she was held against her will. Over that span of time she gave birth to four of his biological children. One child survived, two died of negligence, and one was stillborn. The mother knew of the abuse and did nothing to protect her daughter. She was finally rescued when her younger sister, amidst murderous threats from their father, spoke out and informed the police of what was going on in their home.
This is just one of the countless stories of horrific abuse, violence, terror that flood the media on a daily basis. As I watched this girl tell her story publicly for the first time since she was rescued, I couldn’t help but ask God why this terrible thing happened to an innocent child. For the Christian who believes wholeheartedly in the sovereignty of God over all life, questions such as these are hard to ask. They are even more difficult to try to answer.
My delve into R.C. Sproul’s writing has unveiled an unprecedented glimpse of God’s holiness and God’s mercy. I feel like I’ve only just begun to truly understand the gravity of depravity that pervades the human existence. The Bible essentially reveals that no part of humanity has been unaffected by the Fall. No one has an ounce of righteousness. No one even desires to seek God, much less actually seek Him. Granted, we know of people who seek (and perhaps even we ourselves) the benefits that knowing God gives such as peace, purpose, selflessness, and the like. But ultimately, we don’t seek to know God. To be fair, we can’t even if we wanted to. But the catch is that we, guided by our sinful human nature and inclinations, don’t want anything to do with a Holy God. As Sproul writes in “The Holiness of God”:
“The struggle we have with a holy God is rooted in the conflict between God’s righteousness and our unrighteousness. He is just, and we are unjust. This tension creates fear, hostility, and anger within us toward God. The unjust person does not desire the company of a just judge. We become fugitives, fleeing from the presence of One whose glory can blind us and whose justice can condemn us. We are at war with Him unless or until we are justified. Only the justified person can be comfortable in the presence of a holy God.”
But
God justifies. God justified. Romans 5:1 says “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.”
Wow. Peace with God. Justified through faith and now standing in grace. I should add (from Ephesians 2:8-9), it’s by God’s grace that we are given the faith to believe what He says about who we are, who He is, and what Christ has completed on the cross. Without truly attempting to understand (by His grace, of course) that my salvation is entirely dependent upon God’s grace and mercy and not upon anything I have done (even in “choosing” Christ – this is inaccurate because I didn’t choose Him! He chose me!), I had never truly appreciated and truly awed at the grace of God towards me. This revelation has me awestruck at God and His mercy, His love, His wisdom.
So, what remains is the connection between all this and my initial words on evil and innocence. I believe that God is sovereign over all, even over the evil desires within a person’s heart. He is sovereign over free will (the strongest inclinations we have at each moment which directs our choices) and although we may struggle, as I have and do, with this notion, His divine counsel uses the evil inclinations and evil intentions of sinful people to bring about His own redemptive purposes. It’s easy to call God “unjust” when He allows people to continue in their free-will-driven-joy-ride of sin, when in fact it is justice that prevails. God has mercy on whom He will have mercy. The rest receive justice (Romans 9:14-16). Believe it or not, we are already condemned to a life of spiritual death because of the sin in us. Our choices always lead us to gratify the desires of our sin nature. Until and unless God so chooses to have mercy on us.
Friend, it’s a hard truth to grasp, yes. But for those who have been made righteous, it is truth that changes, or should change, the way we live and pray and interact with God and others in this life. Stories are still being written and God’s mercy still pursues. The "unless" still remains on the rest of creation, according to God's divine wisdom. Persistence in intercessory prayer and pleading don't go unnoticed (recall the widow's story in Luke 18) - God is merciful. Let us press on to acknowledge Him.
“I will call them ‘my people’ who are not my people; and I will call her ‘my loved one’ who is not my loved one...unless the Lord Almighty had left us descendants, we would have become like Sodom, we would have been like Gomorrah.” (Romans 9:25, 29).
2.21.2012
Theology : reality.
Knowledge matters. Knowledge of truth matters even more. Knowledge of God's Word which reveals the truth about humankind, God's grace, right conduct and living among other things is, I believe, of utmost importance. But knowledge for its own sake, regardless of what, is futile if not accompanied by action. And when it comes to biblical theology, a truly enlightened heart and mind infuses and fuels a faithful life. This is the challenge, and one I face on a daily basis.
I've always been interested in theological discussions, and my most recent delve into the work of Reformed theologian R.C. Sproul has given me much to digest, among other things. Before beginning Chosen By God I really had no idea what Reformed Theology was or the tenets of Calvinism or why the topic of predestination stirs up so much controversy in Christian circles. I will even admit that I thought about skipping this volume in my "Three Volumes in One" book of R.C. Sproul's teachings; there was a part of me that didn't feel like unraveling a hefty subject. Although I'm not yet finished, I can say that it has been one of the most enlightening, enjoyable, yet also challenging theological books I've read so far.
But, as mentioned, knowledge without action - or more biblically faith without deeds - is meaningless, useless knowledge. What will all my reading and agreement with authors and the Word mean if my reality is left unaffected? Likewise, what faith can one claim to have if it is not life-altering?
Real, joy-filled, authentic Christianity is not for those who want a comfortable life on earth. In fact, the very idea is an oxymoron. Jesus himself said, "the Son of Man has no place to lay his head" (Matt. 8:20). He says this as cautionary advice and as a matter of fact. Those who faithfully persevere in following him cannot do so half-heartedly nor with naivety. The message Christ came to preach and to fulfill is one of reconciliation and peace with God, new life and purpose in Him. All of life and one's dealings in life revolve around this truth for the believer. While God does pour His blessings upon people, upon those who fear Him and those who don't, His purpose for everything He does is always motivated by His glory, not ours.
It's a hard truth to grasp. But I pray that, like Peter, believers would be of one spirit and say with conviction: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We know and believe that you are the Holy One of God" (John 6:68).
I've always been interested in theological discussions, and my most recent delve into the work of Reformed theologian R.C. Sproul has given me much to digest, among other things. Before beginning Chosen By God I really had no idea what Reformed Theology was or the tenets of Calvinism or why the topic of predestination stirs up so much controversy in Christian circles. I will even admit that I thought about skipping this volume in my "Three Volumes in One" book of R.C. Sproul's teachings; there was a part of me that didn't feel like unraveling a hefty subject. Although I'm not yet finished, I can say that it has been one of the most enlightening, enjoyable, yet also challenging theological books I've read so far.
But, as mentioned, knowledge without action - or more biblically faith without deeds - is meaningless, useless knowledge. What will all my reading and agreement with authors and the Word mean if my reality is left unaffected? Likewise, what faith can one claim to have if it is not life-altering?
Real, joy-filled, authentic Christianity is not for those who want a comfortable life on earth. In fact, the very idea is an oxymoron. Jesus himself said, "the Son of Man has no place to lay his head" (Matt. 8:20). He says this as cautionary advice and as a matter of fact. Those who faithfully persevere in following him cannot do so half-heartedly nor with naivety. The message Christ came to preach and to fulfill is one of reconciliation and peace with God, new life and purpose in Him. All of life and one's dealings in life revolve around this truth for the believer. While God does pour His blessings upon people, upon those who fear Him and those who don't, His purpose for everything He does is always motivated by His glory, not ours.
It's a hard truth to grasp. But I pray that, like Peter, believers would be of one spirit and say with conviction: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We know and believe that you are the Holy One of God" (John 6:68).
2.19.2012
Back by popular demand
...not really!
Time has given me little of itself to devote to blogging but not to fret; to all my faithful readers, I'm still around. I've been soaking up some serious theological readings which I will make sure to dispense with liberty in due time. Sometimes, in order to write effectively one needs to read widely and take in so as to give out something worth the while. Stay tuned.
In other news:
Mischa is cuter than ever! And if you facebook and me as a friend, you'll witness that remark as truth. She's a little over ten months now and is 17 pounds of pure, crawling love. Dale and I are in the midst of planning her first birthday party, and we have no idea what to do. Do we throw her a big birthday bash for us (because, in reality, what one year old knows what a birthday is anyway)? Or gather her little friends for a play date with climbing structures and other things to be pushed and pulled, tossed and bounced? What to do. I don't know.
Our basement is almost fully developed via DIY shenanigans and our friends hooking us up with pro guys to do the harder stuff. I'm excited for the space! That, plus we get to add a few new pieces of furniture to the mix, including some fun decor for Mischa's new playroom. Dale wants to buy her a "tent that will also fit her friends when they come over and play." How cute is that.
Time has given me little of itself to devote to blogging but not to fret; to all my faithful readers, I'm still around. I've been soaking up some serious theological readings which I will make sure to dispense with liberty in due time. Sometimes, in order to write effectively one needs to read widely and take in so as to give out something worth the while. Stay tuned.
In other news:
Mischa is cuter than ever! And if you facebook and me as a friend, you'll witness that remark as truth. She's a little over ten months now and is 17 pounds of pure, crawling love. Dale and I are in the midst of planning her first birthday party, and we have no idea what to do. Do we throw her a big birthday bash for us (because, in reality, what one year old knows what a birthday is anyway)? Or gather her little friends for a play date with climbing structures and other things to be pushed and pulled, tossed and bounced? What to do. I don't know.
Our basement is almost fully developed via DIY shenanigans and our friends hooking us up with pro guys to do the harder stuff. I'm excited for the space! That, plus we get to add a few new pieces of furniture to the mix, including some fun decor for Mischa's new playroom. Dale wants to buy her a "tent that will also fit her friends when they come over and play." How cute is that.
10.25.2011
Blog Series: The Faith-filled Life of the Righteous
Anecdote No. 5: A Hunger for Humble Pie
A few searches through Merriam-Webster’s dictionary left me, at best, with a somewhat vague yet unsatisfying definition of what it means to be humble. Apparently, it is synonymous with meekness, modesty, and lowliness all of which imply thinking less of oneself or being deficient in the rank of some hierarchy. Literally. The exact words were “ranking low in some hierarchy.” The entry for meek confused me all the more with its apparently contradictory definitions: “characterized by patience or long-suffering” and immediately after “deficient in spirit and courage.” How can one be deficient in spirit or courage when one clearly has the patience to endure hardship? Talk about con-fu-sing. So, what does it mean to be humble - to know and show true humility - and why does it matter?
Perhaps the first step towards understanding the importance and necessity of true humility in living a life of faith is to examine pride or vanity, its opposite, and something we all know a thing or two about.
I have always been captivated by French philosopher Blaise Pascal’s profound thoughts on the issue of pride: “Vanity is so anchored in the heart of man that...those who write against it want to have the glory of having written well; and those who read it desire the glory of having read it.” In other words, he appears to be saying that pride is so deeply ingrained in the fibre of our humanity that it is near impossible to do anything in true humility, however noble our intentions may be. We can’t escape the clutches of pride even with our humblest human efforts. Our actions are always, to a degree, motivated by self-interest whether it is humble recognition, modest self-esteem, the satisfaction that hard work, helping others, or being humble in a situation gives us, or even being admired or esteemed for our humility. And let’s face it, those of us who are considered by others – and who consider ourselves - as quite humble compared to others (ironically, even in making such a comparison do we reflect that hint of pride) are shamed by those moments when pride gets the better of us. We’re no better than the next person whom we consider ourselves better than.
Being a wife brings out these moments more often than not. It’s crazy how hard it is to admit I’m wrong and to say sorry because I know it’s my fault. All this to the one I love. That’s pride at its best. So how does one embrace and exercise true humility amidst the natural inclinations of pride? Living by faith is itself living a life of humility to say the least. God requires us to “walk humbly” with him and among all people (Micah 6:8). What does this actually mean and how is it possible given the pride that we all struggle with?
True humility is seen in the life of Jesus Christ and it is his humility that God’s righteous people are called and set apart to imitate. In Philippians 2 we learn that God himself in the person of Jesus “made himself nothing” and became “obedient to death on a cross.” God – the Creator of the universe, the Most High, the Beginning and the End - became a man. He took on the appearance and form of a person, a servant of all people, and though he was in nature God, Jesus did not even consider equality with God as something to be grasped. Wow. How is that even possible? It’s unfathomable, that’s for sure.
So, what implications does this have for my life and yours? It’s impossible to live by faith with pride in one’s heart or head. Christ and pride are at war with one another. Both desire the opposite and, to put it simply, cannot be reconciled. One must die for the other to live. Imitating Christ’s humility first and foremost requires a complete surrender to the presence of God – the Holy Spirit – in one’s heart and life. Often, daily. Isaiah 66:2 says “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.” Only the Holy Spirit can create a humble and contrite and repentant spirit. Only the Spirit can create reverence for God's Word. Moreover, only the humble can be guided towards doing what is right (Psalm 25:9).
Living in humility requires life in community – both of unbelievers and believers. The same book (Philippians) that implores the attitude that we are to have (Christ’s humility) includes the situations that would require us to demonstrate humility. Looking not only to our interests but also to the interests of others implies that our humility should impact others, everyone around us. Not that we act so that others will see our humility and praise it and us (that's pride fueling our actions). But rather, that others would see Christ-likeness in our attitude and actions and be impacted for the better by it (to the end that they would come to know Christ, too). When Paul says “be like-minded, [have] the same love, [be] one in spirit and purpose” this implies exercising humility within the brotherhood of believers – the church. After all, we are His church.
Friend, living humbly is next to impossible to do without the Holy Spirit and further, without a conscious surrender to the Holy Spirit - to the very spirit of Jesus who is our ultimate example of humility. And we all need to practice some humility in our life - in our marriages, in our friendships, in our workplace, with siblings, around parents, to those we would otherwise consider 'lesser' to us. Humility isn’t natural to human nature as pridefulness is. In fact, our culture sees it as weakness (but, that’s another blog). God’s righteous people, however, know that only with a humble heart can one truly live a life that is pleasing to God and one that will build others up in what matters. So, take a bite (or two, or three) of that Humble Pie – made by The Chef himself. You’ll find that a little bit goes a long way.
“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” – Philippians 2:12b-13
A few searches through Merriam-Webster’s dictionary left me, at best, with a somewhat vague yet unsatisfying definition of what it means to be humble. Apparently, it is synonymous with meekness, modesty, and lowliness all of which imply thinking less of oneself or being deficient in the rank of some hierarchy. Literally. The exact words were “ranking low in some hierarchy.” The entry for meek confused me all the more with its apparently contradictory definitions: “characterized by patience or long-suffering” and immediately after “deficient in spirit and courage.” How can one be deficient in spirit or courage when one clearly has the patience to endure hardship? Talk about con-fu-sing. So, what does it mean to be humble - to know and show true humility - and why does it matter?
Perhaps the first step towards understanding the importance and necessity of true humility in living a life of faith is to examine pride or vanity, its opposite, and something we all know a thing or two about.
I have always been captivated by French philosopher Blaise Pascal’s profound thoughts on the issue of pride: “Vanity is so anchored in the heart of man that...those who write against it want to have the glory of having written well; and those who read it desire the glory of having read it.” In other words, he appears to be saying that pride is so deeply ingrained in the fibre of our humanity that it is near impossible to do anything in true humility, however noble our intentions may be. We can’t escape the clutches of pride even with our humblest human efforts. Our actions are always, to a degree, motivated by self-interest whether it is humble recognition, modest self-esteem, the satisfaction that hard work, helping others, or being humble in a situation gives us, or even being admired or esteemed for our humility. And let’s face it, those of us who are considered by others – and who consider ourselves - as quite humble compared to others (ironically, even in making such a comparison do we reflect that hint of pride) are shamed by those moments when pride gets the better of us. We’re no better than the next person whom we consider ourselves better than.
Being a wife brings out these moments more often than not. It’s crazy how hard it is to admit I’m wrong and to say sorry because I know it’s my fault. All this to the one I love. That’s pride at its best. So how does one embrace and exercise true humility amidst the natural inclinations of pride? Living by faith is itself living a life of humility to say the least. God requires us to “walk humbly” with him and among all people (Micah 6:8). What does this actually mean and how is it possible given the pride that we all struggle with?
True humility is seen in the life of Jesus Christ and it is his humility that God’s righteous people are called and set apart to imitate. In Philippians 2 we learn that God himself in the person of Jesus “made himself nothing” and became “obedient to death on a cross.” God – the Creator of the universe, the Most High, the Beginning and the End - became a man. He took on the appearance and form of a person, a servant of all people, and though he was in nature God, Jesus did not even consider equality with God as something to be grasped. Wow. How is that even possible? It’s unfathomable, that’s for sure.
So, what implications does this have for my life and yours? It’s impossible to live by faith with pride in one’s heart or head. Christ and pride are at war with one another. Both desire the opposite and, to put it simply, cannot be reconciled. One must die for the other to live. Imitating Christ’s humility first and foremost requires a complete surrender to the presence of God – the Holy Spirit – in one’s heart and life. Often, daily. Isaiah 66:2 says “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.” Only the Holy Spirit can create a humble and contrite and repentant spirit. Only the Spirit can create reverence for God's Word. Moreover, only the humble can be guided towards doing what is right (Psalm 25:9).
Living in humility requires life in community – both of unbelievers and believers. The same book (Philippians) that implores the attitude that we are to have (Christ’s humility) includes the situations that would require us to demonstrate humility. Looking not only to our interests but also to the interests of others implies that our humility should impact others, everyone around us. Not that we act so that others will see our humility and praise it and us (that's pride fueling our actions). But rather, that others would see Christ-likeness in our attitude and actions and be impacted for the better by it (to the end that they would come to know Christ, too). When Paul says “be like-minded, [have] the same love, [be] one in spirit and purpose” this implies exercising humility within the brotherhood of believers – the church. After all, we are His church.
Friend, living humbly is next to impossible to do without the Holy Spirit and further, without a conscious surrender to the Holy Spirit - to the very spirit of Jesus who is our ultimate example of humility. And we all need to practice some humility in our life - in our marriages, in our friendships, in our workplace, with siblings, around parents, to those we would otherwise consider 'lesser' to us. Humility isn’t natural to human nature as pridefulness is. In fact, our culture sees it as weakness (but, that’s another blog). God’s righteous people, however, know that only with a humble heart can one truly live a life that is pleasing to God and one that will build others up in what matters. So, take a bite (or two, or three) of that Humble Pie – made by The Chef himself. You’ll find that a little bit goes a long way.
“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” – Philippians 2:12b-13
It's funny (and somewhat ironic).
Life with a baby has become a manageable and utterly enjoyable routine; and I'm glad for it after the tough beginning of having a baby. Over the past month, Mischa and I (and Dale when he's home) have worked out a predictable pattern of feeding times, napping times, activity times, bedtime, and some spontaneous outings here and there. To say the least, Mischa is a very good baby and we're comfortable. It's a good thing!
Ironically, as I was browsing a few of my previous months' entries I couldn't help but laugh a little at my random vents on how tough Mischa was, how I had such lack of sleep, and how I couldn't get as much done in and around the house as I can now. The ironic thing was, even though I was running on near empty somehow I had the drive, the insight, the passion to blog - and to blog about God's Word (My blog series). And I did just that amidst my crazy days. Not that I don't still have that desire, but it's ironic how now that I'm getting a restful sleep pretty much every night, now that I can let Misch hang out in her crib without attending to her immediately, now that I have legit down time, my efforts to continue my series have dwindled a bit and, I'll admit, some of the passion is gone. Now, when I have a moment I'm washing the dishes (ENDLESS dishes), doing laundry, watching TV, reading, or preparing for Mischa's next meal. Unlike before, I'd be infront of my computer screen itching to write God's newest revelations.
I find the same goes for life. When things are difficult and it is apparent that only by God's strength can we go on, we're all about seeking God, persisting in our prayers, etc. When things are well, we slack off in our pursuit of living in God's presence, pursuit of his will, his answers to prayer. We get comfortable and in that mode easily lose ourselves to complacency.
I'm thankful that in writing this post I've confronted myself with this issue. Onward to change!
Ironically, as I was browsing a few of my previous months' entries I couldn't help but laugh a little at my random vents on how tough Mischa was, how I had such lack of sleep, and how I couldn't get as much done in and around the house as I can now. The ironic thing was, even though I was running on near empty somehow I had the drive, the insight, the passion to blog - and to blog about God's Word (My blog series). And I did just that amidst my crazy days. Not that I don't still have that desire, but it's ironic how now that I'm getting a restful sleep pretty much every night, now that I can let Misch hang out in her crib without attending to her immediately, now that I have legit down time, my efforts to continue my series have dwindled a bit and, I'll admit, some of the passion is gone. Now, when I have a moment I'm washing the dishes (ENDLESS dishes), doing laundry, watching TV, reading, or preparing for Mischa's next meal. Unlike before, I'd be infront of my computer screen itching to write God's newest revelations.
I find the same goes for life. When things are difficult and it is apparent that only by God's strength can we go on, we're all about seeking God, persisting in our prayers, etc. When things are well, we slack off in our pursuit of living in God's presence, pursuit of his will, his answers to prayer. We get comfortable and in that mode easily lose ourselves to complacency.
I'm thankful that in writing this post I've confronted myself with this issue. Onward to change!
10.20.2011
Call Me Crazy
Mischa started eating pureed food almost a month ago and as a result has not been desiring to breast feed as much although she still does about four times a day (before her meals - although I really should start thinking about and doing the reverse...as much as I don't want to just yet). I'm wrestling with the fact that soon she won't want to at all because she'll either be too full or be drinking from a sippy cup or a bottle and not needing me to provide her with sustenance anymore. Call me crazy but I don't want her to wean so soon! I love breastfeeding (didn't think I'd ever say that - but it's true!) and that she depends on me in that way for soothing, comfort, & closeness. I will definitely miss it when she stops. Plus it's super convenient, nutritious, and no prep is required (other than thinking about the type of blouse to wear before going out). For those soon-to-be moms out there reading: breastfeed! Granted, it might be stressful at first when they are learning to latch on and you need to wrap your head around the idea of the little babe sucking milk from you, and it might hurt or tickle initially, but it's worth it. Much more than what the nurses, doctors, or lactation consultants tell you regarding the benefits breastmilk contains, it's a connection with your baby that's like nothing else. If you can and while you can, do it. You won't regret it for a second :-)
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