One of my favorite weekdays because I get to hang out and study the Word with our small group (and I mean small - there's 7 of us when everyone is present). We usually have it at our place but tonight it was at Brad's (aka. my parents' basement suite) and it was movie night. We watched Slumdog Millionaire. Great movie. I enjoyed every part of it, particularly the portrayal of unconditional, unwavering, persistent-against-all-odds love.
Very similar to God's love for us.
Three more days until the weekend! Not that I'm counting down. Okay, I just did. I'm still recovering from Spring Break - but seriously, I love and am blessed to have the kind of job that I do. Not everyone gets to spend their days with 30 other people doing fun stuff (English and Social Studies is FUN) that I come up with and getting paid for it!
3.31.2009
3.28.2009
Home Alone
Dale and Mark went to the Flames vs. Wild game tonight at the Saddledome (compliments of my co-worker - and they were free!). I was a bit surprised when Dale agreed to take the tickets, considering it isn't the Canucks but then again, "hockey is hockey" (as quoted by Mark). I wonder who they will cheer for, or if they will cheer at all since they don't really care who wins or loses tonight.
So that leaves me here at home, doing work. Apparently it's earth day today and I'm supposed to turn off everything from 8:30 to 9:00 (or is it 9:30?) BUT I really need to do stuff, so I don't know if I'll be able to jump on the bandwagon...I can with my laptop, but I don't know if that's allowed ;P
Wow, I just looked out the window (it's pretty crazy that it's almost 8pm and it's not dark outside yet!) and it's snowing!!! MAN, just when I thought I could start busting out my Spring wear =(
So much for wearing a dress to church tomorrow!
So that leaves me here at home, doing work. Apparently it's earth day today and I'm supposed to turn off everything from 8:30 to 9:00 (or is it 9:30?) BUT I really need to do stuff, so I don't know if I'll be able to jump on the bandwagon...I can with my laptop, but I don't know if that's allowed ;P
Wow, I just looked out the window (it's pretty crazy that it's almost 8pm and it's not dark outside yet!) and it's snowing!!! MAN, just when I thought I could start busting out my Spring wear =(
So much for wearing a dress to church tomorrow!
Saturday
You know what that means. Monday is just around the corner =( Don't get me wrong; I love my job and I really do enjoy working 5 days a week. But after basking in a week off, the prospect of getting up once again at 6am is daunting. I managed to leave all efforts to do some productive planning to this weekend (bad idea) so now I can't enjoy the last few hours of freedom in freedom. But then again, "freedom" and "teaching" is an oxymoron that has never really existed and probably never will.
I have a dentist appointment today at 1pm. It's been a long time since I've seen the dentist. So long, in fact, that I'm too embarrassed to say how long (or it's been that long that I don't even remember!). Apparently, the clinic is super high tech. Dale texted me while he was at the dentist (cuz his appointment was earlier this morning) to say that his chair was giving him a massage!
I've had a challenging thought-life this week. God has really been testing my thoughts and I've found myself meditating on one of David's prayers in the psalms that asks God to search him and know his thoughts, to see if there is any wicked way in him and to lead him in the way everlasting. The mind is really the control-center of our actions. What we choose to think about (or maybe not even choose, but allow our minds to entertain) can have a direct impact on our actions, an impact which can ultimately build up or destroy us and those around us. I'm thankful, though, that in the midst of this struggle, God provides a way for us to stand up from under it - we need only seek Him, choose Him, love Him above all.
Anyway, gotta get back to planning. At least the weather isn't utterly gorgeous that I feel bad I'm not enjoying it today!
Later!
I have a dentist appointment today at 1pm. It's been a long time since I've seen the dentist. So long, in fact, that I'm too embarrassed to say how long (or it's been that long that I don't even remember!). Apparently, the clinic is super high tech. Dale texted me while he was at the dentist (cuz his appointment was earlier this morning) to say that his chair was giving him a massage!
I've had a challenging thought-life this week. God has really been testing my thoughts and I've found myself meditating on one of David's prayers in the psalms that asks God to search him and know his thoughts, to see if there is any wicked way in him and to lead him in the way everlasting. The mind is really the control-center of our actions. What we choose to think about (or maybe not even choose, but allow our minds to entertain) can have a direct impact on our actions, an impact which can ultimately build up or destroy us and those around us. I'm thankful, though, that in the midst of this struggle, God provides a way for us to stand up from under it - we need only seek Him, choose Him, love Him above all.
Anyway, gotta get back to planning. At least the weather isn't utterly gorgeous that I feel bad I'm not enjoying it today!
Later!
3.25.2009
Blogging just hasn't been the same since I left xanga. Maybe it's xanga (the history we have, the blogging community that once was but is now extinct) or maybe it's me, but I definitely miss those xangadays. To all you former xanga-iters, take a stroll down memory lane and maybe it'll be enough to re-ignite a passion for blogging that we all once had.
As I was scrolling through some of my old blogs (5 years worth!!!) I couldn't help but think about the "Deedee" back then and the "Deedee" now. The challenges that I face today have definitely changed from what they were 5 years ago, but it was of personal encouragement to read that in the midst of some of the biggest changes in my life, God remains the same. I was a bit jealous of my old self and the evident enthusiasm for life and Christ that seeped between the lines. Not that I'm not enthusiastic still, but I definitely had a vigor back then has seemed to have lost itself along the way. For no good reason, really, other than perhaps a slow descent into mediocrity and satisfaction with my 'Christianity.'
Well, God has dealt with my complacency in the past and He never fails to deal with it time and again, especially when I reach the end of my self (as I have done numerous times before -- darn humanity! Never learns.) Today was one of those days.
I will borrow from a previous blog I wrote back in 2006 because it pretty much sums me up right now:
So coming to the point of this whole blog, while we were driving home from Vancouver I started to cry. I don't cry often and when I do it usually has to do with my relationship with God, missing my family, my siblings, or an argument/frustration with Dale wherein it is my time of the month. Yesterday, however, it was weird. And this has occurred before. By this I mean me crying when nothing in particular has happened and no news has reached my ears. I didn't cry because I missed my family terribly, which is one of the big reasons why I think I would cry. I actually don't really know why I started crying but I know that my heart felt heavy. I thought about everything and nothing. I thought about life as it was, as it is, and as it will be. I thought about who I've become and where God has brought me so far. I thought about you, the people who have come across my life, and the people I have still yet to meet. I thought about life, and I thought about Christ. And then it all made sense. You know those times when everything just seems to click together and you see the whole picture? That's what happened last night. I saw the whole picture. And you know what I re-discovered? Christ is the sum. He is the beginning and the end. He was, is, and always will be. And I thought to myself, how have I been allowing Christ to reach his full measure in me?
Last night I resolved not to live a mediocre Christian life. I resolved not to be comfortable with "average" or the status quo. I resolved not to serve my God dispassionately and without the absolute conviction that He has called me and set me apart unto himself to do and to be in Christ. He has given me a joy beyond words, Christ in me. He has equipped me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms, Christ in me. Christ in me. He is the Sum to which we cannot add or take away.
I both love and hate when God puts a clear picture in my mind of who I am and who He is: I love it because everything makes sense! It's all about Him. Life is all about Him. Christ lived, died, and rose again to help us see and believe that it's all about Him. And, when it comes down to it, nothing really matters more than that. I hate it because in making me re-realize this again and again, I have really no other option but to surrender. And we all know how hard surrendering can be. We build our fortresses, stake our 'claim to fame' (in whatever aspect that may be), do our bidding...only to be confronted with the realization that only in complete surrender do we truly live.
I hate being uncomfortable. But I'm learning that the Spirit thrives on uncomfortability - especially with the things of this world, with complacency, with mediocrity, with things that won't satisfy or aren't meant for me because I'm not meant for this world. Galatians tells us that the Spirit desires what is contrary to the sinful nature and the sinful nature what is contrary to the Spirit. There is an unsettledness deep down in my Spirit that I feel when I get too caught up in 'my' life.
Anyway, those are my thoughts for the day. It's comforting to know that the Lord disciplines those He loves. I'm thankful for the confrontation, the uncomfortability, and the unsettledness because I know He loves me!
As I was scrolling through some of my old blogs (5 years worth!!!) I couldn't help but think about the "Deedee" back then and the "Deedee" now. The challenges that I face today have definitely changed from what they were 5 years ago, but it was of personal encouragement to read that in the midst of some of the biggest changes in my life, God remains the same. I was a bit jealous of my old self and the evident enthusiasm for life and Christ that seeped between the lines. Not that I'm not enthusiastic still, but I definitely had a vigor back then has seemed to have lost itself along the way. For no good reason, really, other than perhaps a slow descent into mediocrity and satisfaction with my 'Christianity.'
Well, God has dealt with my complacency in the past and He never fails to deal with it time and again, especially when I reach the end of my self (as I have done numerous times before -- darn humanity! Never learns.) Today was one of those days.
I will borrow from a previous blog I wrote back in 2006 because it pretty much sums me up right now:
So coming to the point of this whole blog, while we were driving home from Vancouver I started to cry. I don't cry often and when I do it usually has to do with my relationship with God, missing my family, my siblings, or an argument/frustration with Dale wherein it is my time of the month. Yesterday, however, it was weird. And this has occurred before. By this I mean me crying when nothing in particular has happened and no news has reached my ears. I didn't cry because I missed my family terribly, which is one of the big reasons why I think I would cry. I actually don't really know why I started crying but I know that my heart felt heavy. I thought about everything and nothing. I thought about life as it was, as it is, and as it will be. I thought about who I've become and where God has brought me so far. I thought about you, the people who have come across my life, and the people I have still yet to meet. I thought about life, and I thought about Christ. And then it all made sense. You know those times when everything just seems to click together and you see the whole picture? That's what happened last night. I saw the whole picture. And you know what I re-discovered? Christ is the sum. He is the beginning and the end. He was, is, and always will be. And I thought to myself, how have I been allowing Christ to reach his full measure in me?
Last night I resolved not to live a mediocre Christian life. I resolved not to be comfortable with "average" or the status quo. I resolved not to serve my God dispassionately and without the absolute conviction that He has called me and set me apart unto himself to do and to be in Christ. He has given me a joy beyond words, Christ in me. He has equipped me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms, Christ in me. Christ in me. He is the Sum to which we cannot add or take away.
I both love and hate when God puts a clear picture in my mind of who I am and who He is: I love it because everything makes sense! It's all about Him. Life is all about Him. Christ lived, died, and rose again to help us see and believe that it's all about Him. And, when it comes down to it, nothing really matters more than that. I hate it because in making me re-realize this again and again, I have really no other option but to surrender. And we all know how hard surrendering can be. We build our fortresses, stake our 'claim to fame' (in whatever aspect that may be), do our bidding...only to be confronted with the realization that only in complete surrender do we truly live.
I hate being uncomfortable. But I'm learning that the Spirit thrives on uncomfortability - especially with the things of this world, with complacency, with mediocrity, with things that won't satisfy or aren't meant for me because I'm not meant for this world. Galatians tells us that the Spirit desires what is contrary to the sinful nature and the sinful nature what is contrary to the Spirit. There is an unsettledness deep down in my Spirit that I feel when I get too caught up in 'my' life.
Anyway, those are my thoughts for the day. It's comforting to know that the Lord disciplines those He loves. I'm thankful for the confrontation, the uncomfortability, and the unsettledness because I know He loves me!
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