Sometimes, being alone is necessary, therapeutic even. I know that life is not meant to be lived in solitude, but there are times when you need it. Today is one of those times for me. I woke up this morning without much inclination to enjoy the day outside my home. Yesterday was a totally different story (especially since Dale didn't go to work). I was itching to go out, to do something, anything, but stay in and do nothing. In my mind, "doing something" meant going out and spending money or hanging out with friends. We had just spent the weekend at Family Camp with people and still I wasn't satisfied. I wasn't content to stay in. It was a beautiful day! I only have 3 weeks to enjoy summer before school (which is now work, hehe) starts, I whined. On a whim, we decided to go to the States. But on the way there, thanks to AM730, we found out people were waiting 2 hours to cross the border! Just our luck! So we headed back home. So yesterday didn't amount to much. But today has been a different story.
There are a million lame excuses we can give for not doing the things we should and ought to do. There are a million reasons why God should get fed up, but He doesn't. That attribute of his is definitely unfathomable. To the human mind, it makes no sense that one could put up with so much smack from a people who, with their mouth, are too quick to speak empty promises; too quick to utter praises to God and yet speak ill or hold a grudge against a brother. We are two-faced hypocrites, bred on a gospel that has us at the center instead of God. That God will forgive gives some the license they need to sin instead of the desire to hate sin because God is holy, because Christ suffered, because God is just. Sometimes when we read the Bible, we only see and hear what we want to see and hear. We close our minds to the "bad" but take in the good. If we confess our sins God faithful to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Yes, but that same verse tells us that God is just. He loves us and will forgive but he hates sin and will punish. And then we wonder why, even after we have confessed our sins, God apparently fails to answer our requests, however honorable and sincere. He, it seems, makes life all the more difficult than easy. How can we be so blind? How can we even think we deserve what He gives us? How can we be so disillusioned by the idea that we have earned blessing, love, forgiveness? We haven't! Nothing we have in Christ has been earned or deserved. Nothing.
This morning the Lord spoke to my heart. I have been a spoiled child and have forgotten to whom my life belongs. God has allowed trials and circumstances into my life only to be the Rock I cling to, the Refuge I hide beneath, the Strength and Wisdom I seek when the world goes awry (which it does time and time again). When I look elsewhere, I find confusion and anger, greed and pride. I've looked elsewhere many times only to find that I can't handle it. I'm not cut out for it. I'm not God. I need to stop pretending, and probably so do you.
It's been a good day so far. God meet us in our solitude when we desire to meet with Him :)
2 comments:
Intresting.... just a thought but... What if we only had 3 chances to experience Gods forgiveness. Do you think we would take for granted his mercy. Do you think if we as humans sometimes feel we need to do something to get something in return would be more likely to adhear to Gods discipline and love? Do you think we would be more mindful of him like he is mindful of us. Because we adhere to the law when it comes to speeding, taxes and such. We make sure not to break the law because a fine or consquence is the end. But what if we could see clearly the end or the discipline God has for us. I know its not proper theology but what if.
Not only does He meet us in our solitude, but we can rest in that solitude. Resting and solitude is often seen as a passive thing, but it's actually a very active choice in the midst of the busyness of our lives. It is in this time of listening and receiving God's truth that our eyes are able to see God's hand working, evening in the disappointing and hard things.
Post a Comment