Looking back...

puts looking forward into greater perspective. Looking back doesn't have to be painful or guilt bearing; it doesn't have to bring back bad memories of things you wished you never did or things you wished never happened. They did. But life goes on. God (in time) heals you. If you allow Him to. Most of the time it won't be scar-free, but the pain is gone and although a scar remains, it only exists to remind you of God's power and grace.

Come, let us return to the Lord.
He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us;
he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.
-- Hosea 6:1

Sometimes we blame God for our hurt and pain. We blame him for the bad things that happen in our lives or to those we love. I suppose as humans, it seems only logical to blame God because we know he could've prevented it. We know he is all-powerful and can, with one command, tell the storm to calm down. Or even, diminish it altogether. But he doesn't (or didn't) and for that, we blame him. Perhaps even resent him for it.

And we miss the whole point of the hurt and the pain, of the 'bad' things, the relentless storm.

I don't believe God is to blame for the bad things that happen to us. But perhaps because we naturally blame him, Hosea's words echo rightly in our minds: "God, you've injured us!" So God accepts that we blame him (because, stubbornly, we persist in that), but what does he tell us? "I can heal you. Let me heal you." He allows the hurt and the pain, the suffering and even the resentment, only to be the One to heal us from it. So that we can see that only He can truly bind up our wounds.

We will never, truly and clearly, understand God. He is beyond understanding, beyond what we can fathom, or even imagine. That otherness of God is cause for worship, for a deep surrender to the things of God and to God himself. But I love him for his mystery, for his love that I know and experience through Christ, for making every effort to show me that He is a God of real love. Even if that includes my hurt and pain in the process.

Wisdom from the Word

[Job's] wife said to him, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!"

He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"

-- Job 2:9-10

New House Smell

Unlike new cars, new houses don't really have any particular smells. I guess they just smell like those who inhabit(ed) them. If so, then the previous owners of our new place didn't smell like anything at all. But maybe not smelling like anything at all is a smell, just an unnamed one. Or a neutral smell. Anyway, you decide. I'm writing my first blog as the newest member in the community of Evanston. Well, it's been 4 days already, so maybe we're not the newest, but one of the newbies ;) Unfortunately, our internet hasn't been installed yet so I'm using one of our neighbors' signals. It has been a busy couple of days. We moved in just this past Friday and over the long weekend crammed in unpacking and furniture shopping (still!!!). The good thing was we didn't have a lot of stuff to begin with, so unpacking is basically finished (except for "my" room - which is the office). It feels great to finally be in our own place since getting married (not a basement suite, or the parents' basement ;P). I've been on a cleaning rampage since we moved in. I think I've totally inherited my mom's "clean freak" gene. It just needed the right environment to finally emerge! But honestly, we are so blessed. And I know that this house belongs to the Lord. I'm excited to open it up for bible studies, get togethers, random chillaxin, friends from Edmonton AND the Westcoast (hehe).

So that's the upside. The downside? Paying a mortgage, hydro, water, cable, internet, house insurance, tax, etc. Basically, paying FOR the house. Haha. I want the luxury of my own home without the inconvenience of everything else required for getting and maintaining ownership. Too bad real life's not that simple, eh?

On a side note: upon unpacking Dale's old stuff from back in the day, I came across a box load of oooooooold school r&b CDs from the 90s (ie. Tamia, Craig David, 112, Destiny's Child, Kai, Damage, Tevin Campbell, TLC - just to name a few!)... Ah, the good old (young) days!!!