I'm feeling...restless. I've been doing literally jack squat for the past 3 and a half hours. I still have 30 minutes to go until Dale's off work. Aside from mindlessly browsing facebook, reading up on the latest worst/best dressed in H-wood, finalizing songs for tonight's prayer meeting, writing an email, and pondering (just pondering) completing the last teeny writing assignment I have to do for my class that ends on Friday, I've done basically nothing. Am I wasting my life or what? I can't find a 24 magazine anywhere (it's a great time killer). I've spoken to virtually no one except the cashier at Starbucks and Dale for 2 seconds. I pity my lack of a social life at school, but at the same time I like that I have no social obligations. My time is my own and I can do with it as I please. And apparently it pleases me to do nothing. It's times like these that I wish I had a social group to cling to for passing times of boredom. Unless it is the case that I get bored with them ;P The cohort friends that I did make back in September are all scattered about these days and because most classes end at 1 no one really stays after that. I'm looking forward to lunch with my two friends tomorrow. One of them is going back to Kamloops for pretty much good so I won't be seeing her for a while. The other got hired to Surrey too so we'll prolly see each other often.
Mmm, this oat fudge bar from Starbucks is the best. If you haven't tried it, TRY IT! So good.
I think I've mastered my 20 minutes on the treadmill. I'm going to start trying for 25. Yesterday, I ran with virtually no feelings of exhaust and no asthma afterwards! That is a miracle. I think I may start playing sports again.
I've added the new Activia to my diet. I have yet to see the effects but my stomach has been bubbling for the past hour. Good bubbling ;P
If I could choose any car to have for free, it would be a Toyota Rav 4. The older model. Unfortunately, according to Dale I can't have that car cuz we already have an SUV and it's quite a bit of money. We've been looking at getting a Toyota Matrix as a second vehicle and for me to use for work in September. I hope we do. I need a ride.
I need contacts. My eyesight sucks and so does having to wear glasses all the time.
I've given up McDonalds for a month and a bit now. Try it! It's not that hard and it'll do your body good.
I miss my long(er) hair.
I want to see: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Harry Potter, Bourne Ultimatum, License to Wed, Premonition, and The Zodiac. Anyone seen these yet and are they good?
Okay, times up (finally)! Gotta go pick up Dale.
7.18.2007
7.17.2007
QuickWrite
yellow speed bump, 10 km slow
i roll over it, scared to jump
laughing and squealing
music and crying
ice cream truck turning the corner
chocolate fudge, creamy vanilla
hot dogs roasting on the BBQ
summer in the air
smooth and silky is the wind
on the surface of my skin
my face, my legs
grazing the tips of my fingers
my new blue blades bringing possibility
summer in my mouth
10 cent freezies from the corner store
sweat from the world of play
freedom
the memory of days gone by
erased by time, maturity, age
youthful joy gone without it
-- written for LLED 438
Here I go again with my bouts of nostalgia, my stubborn tendency to relive the past, and yearn for its appearance in the present. It was a simple quickwrite using a poetic structure my prof picked up somewhere. It started with us imagining a window, deciding where we were in relation to that window, what we saw, what we heard, smelled, touched, tasted. And of course, being a sucker for those days of yore, I can't help but write about summers past. The Orchard, Surrey. Where I spent most of my elementary summer days sailing on my rollerblades, jumping speedbumps like the girls in Mighty Ducks, playing street hockey like one of the boys, eyeing my crush with youthful excitement, eating freezies and drinking slurpees, having waterfights, shooting hoops. Man, was I active! Then you get older and life (and your metabolism) slows down. You don't have enough energy (or maybe money too) to do the things you used to do. Plus things change. You move houses, make new friends, get more responsibility, grow up. Before you know it, you're an adult, married, starting a new career and possibly a family of your own. Where is the time you thought you had to do what you always said you would before you get married, get a real job, settle down? Where are the friends who said you'd be "friends forever?" Where is truth in that old lie: "Nothing will change"?
The Bible couldn't be more right in saying that life is like vapor; all men are like grass and their glory like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall. We are transient beings, destined to remain on earth only for a short time. Our experiences are transient, lasting only long enough to be enjoyed, to take action, or to learn from. Each moment, each minute, is transient. The second it begins, it's gone. These moments I am taking to write this blog I can never take back. Is writing this that important that I have given up these moments in my transient life that will never be returned to me? I should ask myself that when I watch 3 hours of TV or waste countless hours on Facebook or Youtube or...complaining about how life is so transient. I already know that. Now what am I doing about it? That is the question. I often wonder how my life would be like if I wasn't a Christian. Hah, that is the test of to what degree I am living a life worthy of my calling. Being a Christian is living with active perspective on the present and eternity. When I use "active", I mean a perspective that drives one to take action with conviction that Christ is truth and the ultimate reality. Truth be told, I would probably be the same person but with a whole lot of questions and a sense of empty longing for something more. Either that or I'd be gloating in whatever accomplishments I think have made me me. I know I'd still be intensely philosophical about everything. But my philosophy would get me nowhere, and I believe that deep down inside I would know that life according to me is not all there is to it. I think I would be an extremely selfish and self-centered person. Not that I don't exhibit those traits now but Christ in me helps me to put to death my old self. I don't know to what conclusion I am trying to reach with this blog. I don't think I'm trying to get at any conclusion, save for the fact that I am thankful for God's love. Perhaps that is the conclusive reminder I need to hear. He gave me a memorable childhood, a blessed youth, and at present is molding me as an adult through experiences that I know, ten years from now, I will look back on in wonder and amazement at just how good God is to me.
So yes, theoretically nothing remains constant. Theologically, however, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
yellow speed bump, 10 km slow
i roll over it, scared to jump
laughing and squealing
music and crying
ice cream truck turning the corner
chocolate fudge, creamy vanilla
hot dogs roasting on the BBQ
summer in the air
smooth and silky is the wind
on the surface of my skin
my face, my legs
grazing the tips of my fingers
my new blue blades bringing possibility
summer in my mouth
10 cent freezies from the corner store
sweat from the world of play
freedom
the memory of days gone by
erased by time, maturity, age
youthful joy gone without it
-- written for LLED 438
Here I go again with my bouts of nostalgia, my stubborn tendency to relive the past, and yearn for its appearance in the present. It was a simple quickwrite using a poetic structure my prof picked up somewhere. It started with us imagining a window, deciding where we were in relation to that window, what we saw, what we heard, smelled, touched, tasted. And of course, being a sucker for those days of yore, I can't help but write about summers past. The Orchard, Surrey. Where I spent most of my elementary summer days sailing on my rollerblades, jumping speedbumps like the girls in Mighty Ducks, playing street hockey like one of the boys, eyeing my crush with youthful excitement, eating freezies and drinking slurpees, having waterfights, shooting hoops. Man, was I active! Then you get older and life (and your metabolism) slows down. You don't have enough energy (or maybe money too) to do the things you used to do. Plus things change. You move houses, make new friends, get more responsibility, grow up. Before you know it, you're an adult, married, starting a new career and possibly a family of your own. Where is the time you thought you had to do what you always said you would before you get married, get a real job, settle down? Where are the friends who said you'd be "friends forever?" Where is truth in that old lie: "Nothing will change"?
The Bible couldn't be more right in saying that life is like vapor; all men are like grass and their glory like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall. We are transient beings, destined to remain on earth only for a short time. Our experiences are transient, lasting only long enough to be enjoyed, to take action, or to learn from. Each moment, each minute, is transient. The second it begins, it's gone. These moments I am taking to write this blog I can never take back. Is writing this that important that I have given up these moments in my transient life that will never be returned to me? I should ask myself that when I watch 3 hours of TV or waste countless hours on Facebook or Youtube or...complaining about how life is so transient. I already know that. Now what am I doing about it? That is the question. I often wonder how my life would be like if I wasn't a Christian. Hah, that is the test of to what degree I am living a life worthy of my calling. Being a Christian is living with active perspective on the present and eternity. When I use "active", I mean a perspective that drives one to take action with conviction that Christ is truth and the ultimate reality. Truth be told, I would probably be the same person but with a whole lot of questions and a sense of empty longing for something more. Either that or I'd be gloating in whatever accomplishments I think have made me me. I know I'd still be intensely philosophical about everything. But my philosophy would get me nowhere, and I believe that deep down inside I would know that life according to me is not all there is to it. I think I would be an extremely selfish and self-centered person. Not that I don't exhibit those traits now but Christ in me helps me to put to death my old self. I don't know to what conclusion I am trying to reach with this blog. I don't think I'm trying to get at any conclusion, save for the fact that I am thankful for God's love. Perhaps that is the conclusive reminder I need to hear. He gave me a memorable childhood, a blessed youth, and at present is molding me as an adult through experiences that I know, ten years from now, I will look back on in wonder and amazement at just how good God is to me.
So yes, theoretically nothing remains constant. Theologically, however, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
7.11.2007
Soul Food
I'm sold to the smooth sounds of Brooke Fraser. I totally didn't bother looking up who sang lead for "Hosanna" on the newest United CD, although I always wondered! I just saw some of her stuff on youtube and she is dooooooope. Just wanted to post a video of her singing. The song is so cute!
I'm sold to the smooth sounds of Brooke Fraser. I totally didn't bother looking up who sang lead for "Hosanna" on the newest United CD, although I always wondered! I just saw some of her stuff on youtube and she is dooooooope. Just wanted to post a video of her singing. The song is so cute!
7.09.2007
Asides
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your wise words and prayers. They were much needed and much appreciated. Nothing is impossible with the Lord.
Sincerely,
Me
One year of pure bliss... is so not what the first year of marriage is all about. It's not about keeping that "honeymoon" stage alive and well; it's not about not arguing and accepting everything with a nod and a smile; it's not about being superficial or giving up your right to your own preferences, it's not about you and it's not about him (or her). It's about growing, learning, loving, and transforming into the person (husband/wife) that God intends for you to be. It's about giving without expecting anything in return; it's about trust in the Lord and in His love for you above and beyond your love for each other; it's about learning the true meaning of love as defined by God and living it out through Christ in you; it's about loving selflessly and wholeheartedly with no hidden agendas, it's about being real and knowing that that 'real' is the good/bad/ugly/sad. It's about being humble, having fun, laughing together, crying together, praying together, staying together. It's about being one in Christ, which doesn't mean sharing the same hobbies or enjoying the same food. Rather, it means that amidst the differences Christ's love and life binds you together. Happy anniversary to us! Hehe. It's only been our first year of marriage and I've already learned much about him, me, and the grace of God. I am so thankful to the Lord for giving Dale to me. He truly does "complete me" (in the human sense of the word) and I am looking forward to what lies ahead in the years to come.
So, after a restful and yet active weekend in Whistler I'm back online. We made good use of the facilities at the Fairmont. Well, just the gym and pool. On Saturday, I had a nasty allergic reaction to something I ate or to the sunscreen I put on. Whatever it was made me break into hives which only irritated all the more my already rash-infested skin. Summer weather has done this to me for the last twenty years! It's a fact of life that, unfortunately, one or all of my kids will probably endure. No, we didn't make a baby...that is, I hope we didn't ;) I ate the best rib eye steak at Monk's Grill. We watched Transformers which was AWESOME. We ching-chang-pushed (me for Licenced to Wed and Dale for Transformers) and Dale won fair and square. Sometimes I think that I won't like certain movies and then when I watch them I end up loving them! Like Gridiron Gang. Dale borrowed the movie a couple of weeks ago and I was so not interested but watched with him anyways. As it turns out, it's now one of my favorite movies according to my Facebook profile, haha. Anyway, it was a nice getaway and I'm looking forward to our Calgary trip at the end of August.
Lately, God has been pruning me. Well, I know that he is consistently pruning me but perhaps it has only been recently that I have become aware of his pruning. I am drawn to the verse in John 15 that says "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." In ministry, I have always been one to avoid conflict. I just don't like it. Although I have been met with ideas, opinions, attitudes, and actions that I'm not particularly fond of or would think or have done otherwise myself, I always try to be accomodating to the extent that I cover up emotions that should be communicated. These emotions then turn into bitterness. Even though we may not be conscious of it, the bitterness surfaces in our thoughts and actions and we wonder why we are easily irritated at this person. I'm learning that sometimes conflict (the healthy kind where it's not about spitting out insults and creating emotional mayhem) is necessary and not entirely a bad thing. We can't all see eye to eye and sometimes our own ignorance or shortsightedness needs to be exposed and corrected. In other words, we need to be rebuked and likewise, we need to also speak the truth in love. The key is speaking the truth in love. Godly motives and intentions must take precedence and it is love that must fuel a person's endeavor. Otherwise, it becomes a game of wills and pride, something not characteristic of Christ. Anyhow, I need wisdom everyday to filter the thoughts that enter my mind. We all do.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your wise words and prayers. They were much needed and much appreciated. Nothing is impossible with the Lord.
Sincerely,
Me
One year of pure bliss... is so not what the first year of marriage is all about. It's not about keeping that "honeymoon" stage alive and well; it's not about not arguing and accepting everything with a nod and a smile; it's not about being superficial or giving up your right to your own preferences, it's not about you and it's not about him (or her). It's about growing, learning, loving, and transforming into the person (husband/wife) that God intends for you to be. It's about giving without expecting anything in return; it's about trust in the Lord and in His love for you above and beyond your love for each other; it's about learning the true meaning of love as defined by God and living it out through Christ in you; it's about loving selflessly and wholeheartedly with no hidden agendas, it's about being real and knowing that that 'real' is the good/bad/ugly/sad. It's about being humble, having fun, laughing together, crying together, praying together, staying together. It's about being one in Christ, which doesn't mean sharing the same hobbies or enjoying the same food. Rather, it means that amidst the differences Christ's love and life binds you together. Happy anniversary to us! Hehe. It's only been our first year of marriage and I've already learned much about him, me, and the grace of God. I am so thankful to the Lord for giving Dale to me. He truly does "complete me" (in the human sense of the word) and I am looking forward to what lies ahead in the years to come.
So, after a restful and yet active weekend in Whistler I'm back online. We made good use of the facilities at the Fairmont. Well, just the gym and pool. On Saturday, I had a nasty allergic reaction to something I ate or to the sunscreen I put on. Whatever it was made me break into hives which only irritated all the more my already rash-infested skin. Summer weather has done this to me for the last twenty years! It's a fact of life that, unfortunately, one or all of my kids will probably endure. No, we didn't make a baby...that is, I hope we didn't ;) I ate the best rib eye steak at Monk's Grill. We watched Transformers which was AWESOME. We ching-chang-pushed (me for Licenced to Wed and Dale for Transformers) and Dale won fair and square. Sometimes I think that I won't like certain movies and then when I watch them I end up loving them! Like Gridiron Gang. Dale borrowed the movie a couple of weeks ago and I was so not interested but watched with him anyways. As it turns out, it's now one of my favorite movies according to my Facebook profile, haha. Anyway, it was a nice getaway and I'm looking forward to our Calgary trip at the end of August.
Lately, God has been pruning me. Well, I know that he is consistently pruning me but perhaps it has only been recently that I have become aware of his pruning. I am drawn to the verse in John 15 that says "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." In ministry, I have always been one to avoid conflict. I just don't like it. Although I have been met with ideas, opinions, attitudes, and actions that I'm not particularly fond of or would think or have done otherwise myself, I always try to be accomodating to the extent that I cover up emotions that should be communicated. These emotions then turn into bitterness. Even though we may not be conscious of it, the bitterness surfaces in our thoughts and actions and we wonder why we are easily irritated at this person. I'm learning that sometimes conflict (the healthy kind where it's not about spitting out insults and creating emotional mayhem) is necessary and not entirely a bad thing. We can't all see eye to eye and sometimes our own ignorance or shortsightedness needs to be exposed and corrected. In other words, we need to be rebuked and likewise, we need to also speak the truth in love. The key is speaking the truth in love. Godly motives and intentions must take precedence and it is love that must fuel a person's endeavor. Otherwise, it becomes a game of wills and pride, something not characteristic of Christ. Anyhow, I need wisdom everyday to filter the thoughts that enter my mind. We all do.
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