Life with a baby has become a manageable and utterly enjoyable routine; and I'm glad for it after the tough beginning of having a baby. Over the past month, Mischa and I (and Dale when he's home) have worked out a predictable pattern of feeding times, napping times, activity times, bedtime, and some spontaneous outings here and there. To say the least, Mischa is a very good baby and we're comfortable. It's a good thing!
Ironically, as I was browsing a few of my previous months' entries I couldn't help but laugh a little at my random vents on how tough Mischa was, how I had such lack of sleep, and how I couldn't get as much done in and around the house as I can now. The ironic thing was, even though I was running on near empty somehow I had the drive, the insight, the passion to blog - and to blog about God's Word (My blog series). And I did just that amidst my crazy days. Not that I don't still have that desire, but it's ironic how now that I'm getting a restful sleep pretty much every night, now that I can let Misch hang out in her crib without attending to her immediately, now that I have legit down time, my efforts to continue my series have dwindled a bit and, I'll admit, some of the passion is gone. Now, when I have a moment I'm washing the dishes (ENDLESS dishes), doing laundry, watching TV, reading, or preparing for Mischa's next meal. Unlike before, I'd be infront of my computer screen itching to write God's newest revelations.
I find the same goes for life. When things are difficult and it is apparent that only by God's strength can we go on, we're all about seeking God, persisting in our prayers, etc. When things are well, we slack off in our pursuit of living in God's presence, pursuit of his will, his answers to prayer. We get comfortable and in that mode easily lose ourselves to complacency.
I'm thankful that in writing this post I've confronted myself with this issue. Onward to change!
10.25.2011
10.20.2011
Call Me Crazy
Mischa started eating pureed food almost a month ago and as a result has not been desiring to breast feed as much although she still does about four times a day (before her meals - although I really should start thinking about and doing the reverse...as much as I don't want to just yet). I'm wrestling with the fact that soon she won't want to at all because she'll either be too full or be drinking from a sippy cup or a bottle and not needing me to provide her with sustenance anymore. Call me crazy but I don't want her to wean so soon! I love breastfeeding (didn't think I'd ever say that - but it's true!) and that she depends on me in that way for soothing, comfort, & closeness. I will definitely miss it when she stops. Plus it's super convenient, nutritious, and no prep is required (other than thinking about the type of blouse to wear before going out). For those soon-to-be moms out there reading: breastfeed! Granted, it might be stressful at first when they are learning to latch on and you need to wrap your head around the idea of the little babe sucking milk from you, and it might hurt or tickle initially, but it's worth it. Much more than what the nurses, doctors, or lactation consultants tell you regarding the benefits breastmilk contains, it's a connection with your baby that's like nothing else. If you can and while you can, do it. You won't regret it for a second :-)
10.06.2011
Mischa Milestone
Almost every day, Dale and I at some point in our evening stop and say to each other: "I can't believe we have a baby!" We have made up so many songs to accompany the little things we do with her throughout the day. We need to make a record of them so she doesn't forget!
(Mischabebebebebe, Mischatotsbebe, How was your day/sleep? Exercise in the Morning, Mischa the Gold Prospector)
I still can't believe it and it's been almost 6 months! I already get sad thinking about leaving her and going back to work (and that's still six months away!).
Anyhow, to her most recent milestone (this week, actually) - sleeping through the night! On Monday night she surprised us by sleeping for 11 hours! She didn't get up at her usual 4am wake up to eat, but instead slept right through until 7am. What a champ! (I, in turn, got 7 hours of sleep which has not happened since before she was born). I attribute this new ability to her starting solids a couple of weeks ago. She loves her oat cereal! Banana and green beans not so much (I figure since she scrunches up her little face and eyes as if to say "uh, this tastes weird"); but if it's mixed with her oats she doesn't really notice.
*Sigh*
Our little girl is growing too fast!
(Mischabebebebebe, Mischatotsbebe, How was your day/sleep? Exercise in the Morning, Mischa the Gold Prospector)
I still can't believe it and it's been almost 6 months! I already get sad thinking about leaving her and going back to work (and that's still six months away!).
Anyhow, to her most recent milestone (this week, actually) - sleeping through the night! On Monday night she surprised us by sleeping for 11 hours! She didn't get up at her usual 4am wake up to eat, but instead slept right through until 7am. What a champ! (I, in turn, got 7 hours of sleep which has not happened since before she was born). I attribute this new ability to her starting solids a couple of weeks ago. She loves her oat cereal! Banana and green beans not so much (I figure since she scrunches up her little face and eyes as if to say "uh, this tastes weird"); but if it's mixed with her oats she doesn't really notice.
*Sigh*
Our little girl is growing too fast!
The Importance of Being Earnest
No, not the trivial comedy by Oscar Wilde but the attitude of earnesty when it comes to what's important in this life. Namely, God, family, people and in that order.
Not working for the past six months has allowed me to take a step back and analyze how I spend my days and time. Granted, I did just have a baby and a lot of my time (especially in the beginning) was put towards learning how to care for a baby and then actually caring for her basic needs which is essentially what motherhood is in the first three months. But now that I've gotten a grip on raising an infant (no longer a newborn), I really can't use 'just had a baby' as an excuse for not making the most of each day. Especially being off from work. Hence, regardless of what season of life you find yourself in, it is still of utmost importance to be earnest in the way of seeking God and His righteousness, loving the people God has given to you as family, and extending His love to all people.
I've been mulling over the fact that I haven't built many long-standing relationships with people outside of my church family; and this bugs me. Back home this wasn't an issue really, perhaps because into adulthood I retained a lot of highschool friendships with many people. There was history there which, I guess, made the grounds on which to build a friendship more substantial in some way. But since moving to Calgary, I've found that the only place I've made (and make) new friendships is at work. And it's also at work that these friendships are usually maintained. It doesn't quite help that I'm not permanent at any school, although that really shouldn't matter when a solid friendship is formed. But like any relationship, time needs to be invested regularly in order for the relationship to grow. That, and an openness of sorts. And if that's not really happening, then relationships become polite acquaintance, nothing much else. Many of my short friendships with the people I've made since moving here (outside of the church, that is) have turned into polite acquaintance. I guess to some extent that is bound to happen. But what I am struggling to come to grips with is how I've approached these friendships. How did I (do I) allow the Lord to speak through me, shine through me, in these friendships? When opportunities arose (arise), how did (do) I make the most of them?
To put it plainly, I am not earnest when it comes to sharing the gospel message of God's love to others. This is a difficult admittance, even to myself. I can effectively teach the Bible to believers, proclaim God's love in song, exhort God's people to worship. But, unless an obvious opportunity to share my faith to an unbeliever presents itself, I don't. Instead of creating opportunities, I wait for them. And it is in simply waiting that nothing happens. As believers, we are encouraged to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17). But that does not always mean to pray and just sit and wait. Sometimes, it does. But other times, and more often, it means to pray while simultaneously allowing God to work in us and through us; and in doing so our very attitude and conduct become God's answer to our prayers (Philippians 2:12).
But if I'm not earnest, nothing - really - will change.
St. Francis of Assisi is once quoted as saying: "Preach the gospel at all times. When necessary, use words." While I wholeheartedly agree with the motive and essence of this statement, I can't reduce words to secondary importance in the endeavor to preach the gospel. If I do, I will never learn to open my mouth but instead simply trust that my life alone will do all the preaching necessary for a person to understand salvation and God's love. But Jesus's very life, not only his words, teaches us otherwise. Both word and deed are of equal value when it comes to the Christian message; they go hand in hand. The Bible teaches us that "faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ" (Romans 10:17).
So I'm left with this: I need to continue to pray, pray, pray...and move. I pray for opportunities, but I also need to create those opportunities. I need to make the phone call, write the message, send the text, take out for coffee or lunch or dinner, host a meal, etc.
Time to seriously invest my time and money in people who need to hear and know Christ.
Not working for the past six months has allowed me to take a step back and analyze how I spend my days and time. Granted, I did just have a baby and a lot of my time (especially in the beginning) was put towards learning how to care for a baby and then actually caring for her basic needs which is essentially what motherhood is in the first three months. But now that I've gotten a grip on raising an infant (no longer a newborn), I really can't use 'just had a baby' as an excuse for not making the most of each day. Especially being off from work. Hence, regardless of what season of life you find yourself in, it is still of utmost importance to be earnest in the way of seeking God and His righteousness, loving the people God has given to you as family, and extending His love to all people.
I've been mulling over the fact that I haven't built many long-standing relationships with people outside of my church family; and this bugs me. Back home this wasn't an issue really, perhaps because into adulthood I retained a lot of highschool friendships with many people. There was history there which, I guess, made the grounds on which to build a friendship more substantial in some way. But since moving to Calgary, I've found that the only place I've made (and make) new friendships is at work. And it's also at work that these friendships are usually maintained. It doesn't quite help that I'm not permanent at any school, although that really shouldn't matter when a solid friendship is formed. But like any relationship, time needs to be invested regularly in order for the relationship to grow. That, and an openness of sorts. And if that's not really happening, then relationships become polite acquaintance, nothing much else. Many of my short friendships with the people I've made since moving here (outside of the church, that is) have turned into polite acquaintance. I guess to some extent that is bound to happen. But what I am struggling to come to grips with is how I've approached these friendships. How did I (do I) allow the Lord to speak through me, shine through me, in these friendships? When opportunities arose (arise), how did (do) I make the most of them?
To put it plainly, I am not earnest when it comes to sharing the gospel message of God's love to others. This is a difficult admittance, even to myself. I can effectively teach the Bible to believers, proclaim God's love in song, exhort God's people to worship. But, unless an obvious opportunity to share my faith to an unbeliever presents itself, I don't. Instead of creating opportunities, I wait for them. And it is in simply waiting that nothing happens. As believers, we are encouraged to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17). But that does not always mean to pray and just sit and wait. Sometimes, it does. But other times, and more often, it means to pray while simultaneously allowing God to work in us and through us; and in doing so our very attitude and conduct become God's answer to our prayers (Philippians 2:12).
But if I'm not earnest, nothing - really - will change.
St. Francis of Assisi is once quoted as saying: "Preach the gospel at all times. When necessary, use words." While I wholeheartedly agree with the motive and essence of this statement, I can't reduce words to secondary importance in the endeavor to preach the gospel. If I do, I will never learn to open my mouth but instead simply trust that my life alone will do all the preaching necessary for a person to understand salvation and God's love. But Jesus's very life, not only his words, teaches us otherwise. Both word and deed are of equal value when it comes to the Christian message; they go hand in hand. The Bible teaches us that "faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ" (Romans 10:17).
So I'm left with this: I need to continue to pray, pray, pray...and move. I pray for opportunities, but I also need to create those opportunities. I need to make the phone call, write the message, send the text, take out for coffee or lunch or dinner, host a meal, etc.
Time to seriously invest my time and money in people who need to hear and know Christ.
9.30.2011
Daytime TV, Dr. Phil, and Delusion
If there is one thing I'll miss about being on maternity leave (other than being on maternity leave) it's Daytime TV. I hate to admit it but I watch quite a bit of television. In addition to all my PVR'd evening shows and some newbies that Dale and started to get into this Fall, I'm finding that I need to have my daily talkshow fix. Namely, Dr. Phil. Granted, some topics are just lame and I couldn't really be bothered. But recently they've been focused on a group I've always been somewhat interested in: FLDS. I'm not absolutely sure why I'm so intrigued by this religion, sect, cult or whatever they might be. Maybe because their self-appointed leader is in prison for heinous crimes and yet he still has a following. Maybe it's because I've never really understood (and will never understand) why women would agree to be in a polygamous marriage. Maybe it's because I can't fathom why anyone (women particularly) would want to live imprisoned, controlled, and secluded lives. The disparity of life as I know it in a relationship with a God who loves freely, offers salvation as a gift, forgives sin not based on merit but on his grace alone, versus life for one whose leader's absolute power corrupted both himself and others, intrigues me.
It's easy to judge people who choose this life and lifestyle and call them 'brainwashed' as a result. Maybe they are. But maybe the issue is much more. Generations of families have lived and grown up in these secluded communities, not knowing otherwise and being completely ignorant of anything outside what they have been indoctrinated to believe since birth. Can you call someone brainwashed if they do not know otherwise? Children grow up believing what they hear & see day in and day out from people they know and trust and do not get the opportunity to do otherwise. They aren't necessarily forced to believe or do anything but rather they obediently (save for the bold few) do as they have been brought up to do. In one way I can relate to this experience, but only in so far as being brought up in a household that valued church and having a relationship with God and thus making God-fearing choices. My parents raised us with their beliefs and values, but there came a point in our lives (my siblings and I) where we chose to know God and follow Him for ourselves, which is ultimately everyone's fork in the road.
"Absolute power corrupts absolutely." - Lord John Acton
Human nature is already drenched in sin out of which stems all other vices. Add power unchecked to the mix and you have a disaster waiting to happen. From what I've read and seen, Mr. Jeffs is the epitome of the quote above. Having claimed to be God's prophet and mouthpiece to his people, he used his power to manipulate children, deceive thousands, and feed his sick and twisted desires. And the worst part is that those in power who perhaps knew, did/do nothing about it and those who didn't/don't know blindly took/take his words as gospel truth from "God" himself. It angers me to know that there are people who say and do things utterly contrary to the nature and Word of the real Jesus Christ, the one true God, claiming their words and actions to have been directed by God's righteous, loving, and sovereign hand. Time and again religion has been used as a tool of power to persuade or propogate personal agendas. Even in the Christian church today corruption rears its ugly face when power struggles emerge and sin remains unexposed. It is complete folly to believe anyone's words or sayings or commands as revelations from God without holding it up to the scrutiny of Scripture (2 Tim. 3:16) which is our ultimate source of knowledge about who God is, who we are, and God's desires for holy living.
Well, those are my thoughts on that. Unfortunately, ignorance isn't bliss when it comes to questions of moral aboslutes, salvation, God, and His Word. Get educated, people!
It's easy to judge people who choose this life and lifestyle and call them 'brainwashed' as a result. Maybe they are. But maybe the issue is much more. Generations of families have lived and grown up in these secluded communities, not knowing otherwise and being completely ignorant of anything outside what they have been indoctrinated to believe since birth. Can you call someone brainwashed if they do not know otherwise? Children grow up believing what they hear & see day in and day out from people they know and trust and do not get the opportunity to do otherwise. They aren't necessarily forced to believe or do anything but rather they obediently (save for the bold few) do as they have been brought up to do. In one way I can relate to this experience, but only in so far as being brought up in a household that valued church and having a relationship with God and thus making God-fearing choices. My parents raised us with their beliefs and values, but there came a point in our lives (my siblings and I) where we chose to know God and follow Him for ourselves, which is ultimately everyone's fork in the road.
"Absolute power corrupts absolutely." - Lord John Acton
Human nature is already drenched in sin out of which stems all other vices. Add power unchecked to the mix and you have a disaster waiting to happen. From what I've read and seen, Mr. Jeffs is the epitome of the quote above. Having claimed to be God's prophet and mouthpiece to his people, he used his power to manipulate children, deceive thousands, and feed his sick and twisted desires. And the worst part is that those in power who perhaps knew, did/do nothing about it and those who didn't/don't know blindly took/take his words as gospel truth from "God" himself. It angers me to know that there are people who say and do things utterly contrary to the nature and Word of the real Jesus Christ, the one true God, claiming their words and actions to have been directed by God's righteous, loving, and sovereign hand. Time and again religion has been used as a tool of power to persuade or propogate personal agendas. Even in the Christian church today corruption rears its ugly face when power struggles emerge and sin remains unexposed. It is complete folly to believe anyone's words or sayings or commands as revelations from God without holding it up to the scrutiny of Scripture (2 Tim. 3:16) which is our ultimate source of knowledge about who God is, who we are, and God's desires for holy living.
Well, those are my thoughts on that. Unfortunately, ignorance isn't bliss when it comes to questions of moral aboslutes, salvation, God, and His Word. Get educated, people!
8.26.2011
Blog Series: The Faith-filled Life of the Righteous
Anecdote No. 4: Security in God's Sovereignty
One of my good friends who is a nurse told me of the recent death of one of her patients, 2-year-old Brandon. He was born with gastroschisis, a birth defect where the intestines grow outside of the abdomen. Although he was able to sucessfully undergo a multi-organ transplant, he caught an infection that his little body wasn't able to fend off. As she shared this story with me, I couldn't help but imagine what I would feel or how I would cope if my own daughter was born with, or contracted, a disease that could possibly take her life. I couldn't imagine it. My friend spoke of the brokenness of Brandon's mother and of the parents' despair as they grieved the passing of their young boy. Then she asked me a simple yet profound question: "How do you share about God's love to a couple whose baby just died? What are you supposed to say?"
We will never be able to fathom why disease and death and disaster happen. But they do. It is a fact of life that these exist. Some may not experience it to the same degree as others and this inconceivable unfairness is difficult to swallow for many and a stumbling block to understanding, and accepting, God as love. I don't propose an answer to the question above, but I do propose this: God's sovereignty can be our security in times of trouble, heartache, and tribulation. If he is sovereign over the good that we experience in life, he must also be sovereign over the hardships we encounter. God himself endured the pain of seeing his only Son suffer a horrendous death on a cross to pay the penalty of our sin against him. Even though Christ himself spoke of his resurrection after death much to his disciples' unbelief, God alone knew the magnitude of this event in history, and its insurmountable accomplishment for those who believe.
Trouble will (and does) plague our lives. Some to a greater degree than others. I don't presume to know the answer to why God allows bad things to happen although I do believe that much of what happens is the natural course of life in a fallen, imperfect, temporal world, governed yet by God's sovereign hand. But God cannot be blamed for mankind's depravity and how that impacts a person's willfull actions. He grieves with us and offers us hope and reconciliation through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We can count on his grace to allow something beautiful, good, praiseworthy, true, and right to rise out of the ashes.
God's righteous people put their security in the sovereignty of God. That is much easier declared (and written) than actually done. But it's a daily practice, both of the mind and the will, that comes by faith.
Ponder with me the story of Job; a difficult one grasp. Here was a humble and obedient man, blessed by God with intelligence, health, wealth, possessions, a loving family. God allows every disaster (death, disease, dishonor) to plague this God-fearing, honest, hardworking man. Job, in response to all of this, acknowledges God as sovereign: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised"(Job 1:21)... "Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" (2:10). The story continues with Job and his three friends contending the reason for Job's affliction, each trying to determine (or defend) God's purpose in the matter - essentially that Job's suffering was God's way of punishing him for his sin against God. I'm sure that Job probably considered that reasoning even before his friends brought it to his attention. I know I would've if I were Job (and I admit to having done so many a time in my own life). But God had already declared Job to be "blameless and upright" and a man who "feared God and shunned evil" (1:1).
And so the difficult question still remains: Why does this happen to him?
Walter C. Kaiser, Jr. provides a simple yet vexing answer that does well to reflect the attitude of one who consciously and consistently puts their trust in God's sovereignty:
"While we cannot deny that the issue of suffering in the lives of God's people, such as Job, still contains a good deal of mystery, it is just as much a horrible misconception to declare that suffering is God's normal route for every believer as it is to declare that God's goodness means life will always result in prosperity and riches for those who serve the Lord.
Our decision must be to follow God and trust his justice, wisdom, and goodness whether we are in the throes of suffering or enjoying good health and blessing. Such a decision would surely cut the ground out from under Satan in the spiritual warfare of our day and age. Thus, the law of God does not contradict the Psalms, the historical writings, prophets, or the wisdom books. Believers will continue to suffer, but it will always be under the permission or direction of a merciful and wise heavenly Father who works for our good in the way of the truth and fairness of the gospel."
Click here to read the entire article in Christianity Today: Reductionist Justice: Where Job's Friends Went Wrong About Suffering
Friend, although your heart may be troubled put your trust and hope in God. He is sovereign. Nothing and no one can fathom his thoughts and his ways. God's righteous people clutch onto this truth and when trouble or heartache or hardship or grief confront them, they are not quick to let go of His mighty hand because they know His wisdom, love, and mercy guide both the sunshine and the storm. He IS; we are not. I believe Job responded in the most appropriate way one could respond to God's own revelation of himself. I pray that we who live by faith would learn from his example and do the same.
Then Job replied to the Lord:
"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.
"You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
Job 42:1-6
One of my good friends who is a nurse told me of the recent death of one of her patients, 2-year-old Brandon. He was born with gastroschisis, a birth defect where the intestines grow outside of the abdomen. Although he was able to sucessfully undergo a multi-organ transplant, he caught an infection that his little body wasn't able to fend off. As she shared this story with me, I couldn't help but imagine what I would feel or how I would cope if my own daughter was born with, or contracted, a disease that could possibly take her life. I couldn't imagine it. My friend spoke of the brokenness of Brandon's mother and of the parents' despair as they grieved the passing of their young boy. Then she asked me a simple yet profound question: "How do you share about God's love to a couple whose baby just died? What are you supposed to say?"
We will never be able to fathom why disease and death and disaster happen. But they do. It is a fact of life that these exist. Some may not experience it to the same degree as others and this inconceivable unfairness is difficult to swallow for many and a stumbling block to understanding, and accepting, God as love. I don't propose an answer to the question above, but I do propose this: God's sovereignty can be our security in times of trouble, heartache, and tribulation. If he is sovereign over the good that we experience in life, he must also be sovereign over the hardships we encounter. God himself endured the pain of seeing his only Son suffer a horrendous death on a cross to pay the penalty of our sin against him. Even though Christ himself spoke of his resurrection after death much to his disciples' unbelief, God alone knew the magnitude of this event in history, and its insurmountable accomplishment for those who believe.
Trouble will (and does) plague our lives. Some to a greater degree than others. I don't presume to know the answer to why God allows bad things to happen although I do believe that much of what happens is the natural course of life in a fallen, imperfect, temporal world, governed yet by God's sovereign hand. But God cannot be blamed for mankind's depravity and how that impacts a person's willfull actions. He grieves with us and offers us hope and reconciliation through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We can count on his grace to allow something beautiful, good, praiseworthy, true, and right to rise out of the ashes.
God's righteous people put their security in the sovereignty of God. That is much easier declared (and written) than actually done. But it's a daily practice, both of the mind and the will, that comes by faith.
Ponder with me the story of Job; a difficult one grasp. Here was a humble and obedient man, blessed by God with intelligence, health, wealth, possessions, a loving family. God allows every disaster (death, disease, dishonor) to plague this God-fearing, honest, hardworking man. Job, in response to all of this, acknowledges God as sovereign: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised"(Job 1:21)... "Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" (2:10). The story continues with Job and his three friends contending the reason for Job's affliction, each trying to determine (or defend) God's purpose in the matter - essentially that Job's suffering was God's way of punishing him for his sin against God. I'm sure that Job probably considered that reasoning even before his friends brought it to his attention. I know I would've if I were Job (and I admit to having done so many a time in my own life). But God had already declared Job to be "blameless and upright" and a man who "feared God and shunned evil" (1:1).
And so the difficult question still remains: Why does this happen to him?
Walter C. Kaiser, Jr. provides a simple yet vexing answer that does well to reflect the attitude of one who consciously and consistently puts their trust in God's sovereignty:
"While we cannot deny that the issue of suffering in the lives of God's people, such as Job, still contains a good deal of mystery, it is just as much a horrible misconception to declare that suffering is God's normal route for every believer as it is to declare that God's goodness means life will always result in prosperity and riches for those who serve the Lord.
Our decision must be to follow God and trust his justice, wisdom, and goodness whether we are in the throes of suffering or enjoying good health and blessing. Such a decision would surely cut the ground out from under Satan in the spiritual warfare of our day and age. Thus, the law of God does not contradict the Psalms, the historical writings, prophets, or the wisdom books. Believers will continue to suffer, but it will always be under the permission or direction of a merciful and wise heavenly Father who works for our good in the way of the truth and fairness of the gospel."
Click here to read the entire article in Christianity Today: Reductionist Justice: Where Job's Friends Went Wrong About Suffering
Friend, although your heart may be troubled put your trust and hope in God. He is sovereign. Nothing and no one can fathom his thoughts and his ways. God's righteous people clutch onto this truth and when trouble or heartache or hardship or grief confront them, they are not quick to let go of His mighty hand because they know His wisdom, love, and mercy guide both the sunshine and the storm. He IS; we are not. I believe Job responded in the most appropriate way one could respond to God's own revelation of himself. I pray that we who live by faith would learn from his example and do the same.
Then Job replied to the Lord:
"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.
"You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
Job 42:1-6
8.25.2011
Mischa Milestone
Being a mom is ultimately (all things considered)...rewarding. Mischa has quickly become my heart. I can't explain a lot of the emotions I feel when she smiles, when I watch her chest rise and fall as she sleeps, when she babbles at me, when she's so tired while she's nursing that she falls asleep but won't let go of me, when she holds on (yes - she can hold on to stuff now!) to my shoulder as I carry her, when she's overtired but sleepy and restlessly rolls around and sticks her butt in the air; but one that permeates through all of them is happiness. She makes me happy. And I would, quite literally, give my life for her. In fact, perhaps a little bit of that happens every day. And I may have lamented that in the beginning, but not now. Life is even better with Mischa.
She's been reaching a lot of milestones recently. Just having turned 4 months not too long ago, she's already mastered rolling from her back to her tummy and officially sleeps on her tummy now. Like any parent who is warned not to let their child sleep on their tummy for fear of SIDS or suffocation, I would wake at the slightest sound in the monitor, enter her room to find her on her tummy, and flip her onto her back. Needless to say, that didn't last long as I quickly became exhausted from waking up 4-5 times a night to flip her. She found the position most comfortable for her and I needed to accept that. Plus, she started to sleep for longer stretches at night because of it. Ultimately, I gave up my desire to control the situation (after much praying and endless monitoring) and let her be. Now she's working on rolling back onto her back. She's done it a few times, surprising even herself at the feat, but napping has become 'roll-around-time' halfway through. She's hilarious.
She's been reaching a lot of milestones recently. Just having turned 4 months not too long ago, she's already mastered rolling from her back to her tummy and officially sleeps on her tummy now. Like any parent who is warned not to let their child sleep on their tummy for fear of SIDS or suffocation, I would wake at the slightest sound in the monitor, enter her room to find her on her tummy, and flip her onto her back. Needless to say, that didn't last long as I quickly became exhausted from waking up 4-5 times a night to flip her. She found the position most comfortable for her and I needed to accept that. Plus, she started to sleep for longer stretches at night because of it. Ultimately, I gave up my desire to control the situation (after much praying and endless monitoring) and let her be. Now she's working on rolling back onto her back. She's done it a few times, surprising even herself at the feat, but napping has become 'roll-around-time' halfway through. She's hilarious.
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