Mischa Milestone

Recipe for Naptime

1) Adele's "Daydreamer" on the ipod
2) White Noise Giraffe
3) Swaddled
4) Bouncy ball

Mischa's becoming really good at going down for naps during the day (when she doesn't get overtired). I'm so proud of her (and me!). I let Dale in on the routine I've been following for the last 2 weeks and today when he put her down for her nap, right when she entered the room and heard the music, she knew right away what time it was. Unfortunately, he forgot to check her diaper and a few minutes after he left the room we heard a little whine. After a quick change, reswaddle, and a little cuddle time she was good to go.

Baby Bits turned Mischa Milestones

Mischa is going to be 6 weeks old on Tuesday. I've read that a growth spurt is coming up; I can just imagine what that entails (feeding every 2 hours or less, sleeping...more? or less? She currently spends the days awake more than asleep). She already reached some milestones in the past 6 weeks: smiling! lifting and turning her head during tummy time, fattening up! And last night she gave Dale and I a treat and slept for almost 4.5 hours. Now that is a major milestone! I hope more long stretches of sleeping is part of this upcoming growth spurt.

Life is not what it was...

April 12, 2011 is a day to remember. Mischa Elle was born at 7:30pm after 16.5 hours of labour including 2 hours of pushing out her little 7 lb, 4 oz body. That ordeal coupled with zero pain relief is, I must admit, the achievement of my life so far. My biggest fear, whence I could wrap my mind around child-bearing, was the thought and experience of giving birth. I literally thought I would die on the delivery table. Seriously. I mean, have you seen a birthing video? How is that possible? I am still in disbelief at what my body was able to do.

Side note: Her name, Mischa Elle, is taken from the Hebrew nameMishael which means Who is like God?. Hence, Tim Neufeld's song below will be the first song I hope she learns to sing!

That was 5 weeks and 4 days ago. Since that day, life has not been the same and I know it never will. I write those words with both joy and sadness, anticipation and nostalgia.

The feelings of joy and anticipation are pretty self-explanatory. If you've ever had a child of your own, then you can relate. There's nothing comparable to cuddling and staring at my own flesh and blood, knowing that she grew inside me for nine months and is the perfect combination of Dale and I. That fact is still surreal to me in many ways. She brings me joy and gives me an overhwhelming desire to love her self-lessly (which is really the only way to love a child). The feeling of anticipation characterizes both each day that passes and the thought of how much she will grow in the next year and in the years to come. Every day brings a new opportunity to discover and witness her development. Just last week she started to coo and make the most adorable sounds. I'm also pretty convinced she can look me in the eye now. She always seems to make eye contact with me when I'm nursing (it's the cutest thing! As if she's saying, "Thanks for the milk, mommy.") I love being her mother and knowing that I have been given the privilege of providing for her needs and helping her grow.

The sadness and nostalgia stem from the memory of my independent life. Gone are the days of sleeping straight and sleeping in, going out with ease without having concern for time, spontaniety, and all the rest. I did not expect to feel such a loss, but I do right now. I know that as she grows, I will become more confident in how I can help her adapt to our schedule (and create a family "life") but in the mean time I find myself longing for days gone by. I was glad to find an online forum of new moms who felt and feel exactly as I do. A part of me feels guilty for not absolutely loving motherhood since having Mischa. Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits but easing into the role of a full time caregiver (which is really what I am at this stage of her life) has been a huge adjustment that I'm still getting used to. It does, as everyone who has been where I am says, get easier. I can attest to that even in the short while that I've been a mom. Essentially, I was thrilled and relieved to chance upon this forum and to hear from other new moms who with me, defy the notion that there is something seriously wrong with moms who don't absolutely love their new role. We are the norm, not the exception.

Yes, life is not what it was a few weeks ago. But, it's all a part of my story - and God's a perfect writer.

Who is like God?

The Lord is my strength & my song
He has become my salvation
He is my God and I will praise Him
I will lift Him up

Who is like You, majestic in holiness
Awesome in glory, working wonders
Who is like You, majestic in holiness
Awesome in glory, working wonders

In Your unfailing love
You will lead the people that You redeem
And in Your strength, You will guide them
To Your holy place

Who among the gods is like You?
Who in all the heavens?
Who among the gods is like You?

-- Tim Neufeld (Starfield)

This is going to be the first song I am going to teach our daughter to sing.

Words of Wisdom

Ephesians 1:15-23 has always been one of my favorite passages in the Bible. John Piper is one of my favorite theologians and preachers. If you have time, watch the sermon link I've posted below. It will leave you challenged to consider and do something different and believe something more than what you think you know about the immeasurable greatness of God's power towards us (what does that even mean?!?!). As John Piper says, these things are too spectacular for any human mind to grasp. It's the Holy Spirit who alone can enlighten the eyes of our hearts so that we may know him.

The Immeasurable Greatness of His Power Toward Us


Enjoy and may you know more clearly the power that is at work in you!

My heart's desire this morning...

Fill my cup Lord,
I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul;
Bread of heaven, Feed me till I want no more
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!

Wow, it's been a while. Sorry, faithful readers (all...none of you, hah). Life is catching up with me. The past couple of months have just flown by as the anticipation of the arrival of our daughter has taken precedence over much of my emotions and time (shopping, cleaning, preparing her room). To say the least, we are excited. I'm in the homestretch (2 weeks until her due date) and just waiting to go into labour any time now. Although, I haven't taken my mat leave just yet. I have a feeling that she's going to stay tucked in my uterus until the bitter end.

Aside from waiting for the baby to make her appearance, I've been uninspired and in a dry spell. Not sure why, though. I have some idea but it doesn't quite suffice for me. There's always a deeper issue to be prodded. I think I've just been complacent in my internal prodding and have settled for accepting this dry spell as it is.

On a brighter note, it's spring break tomorrow! I'm not sure what to do with myself but walking lots is definitely on my list ;)