Baby Bits

Today marks the beginning of the 25th week of my pregnancy (15 more to go - maybe less!). I never used to understand why my pregnant women friends always counted in weeks instead of months, but being pregnant now it totally makes sense. And if you didn't know, a women is pregnant for 10 months (not 9, unless you understand it to be 9 full months). So, for those who need clarification, I'm in my 6th month of pregnancy. Time has flown by!

Baby is moving A LOT these days – praise God! She startles me with her kicks at times that little “Oh’s!” escape through my breath. It’s a funny sensation, much like when I feel gaseous and my belly makes popping vibrations, except I can feel the kicks on the surface of my skin and today, for the first time, I saw my belly move! Dale missed it, though. He sat and started at the spot I saw her move for a good 35 seconds but didn’t catch her. Too bad for him!

It's a new year...

I quote a tweet from my favorite biblical scholar and teacher, John Piper (he is finally back on twitter after an 8 month sabbatical): "God promises new troubles (Matt. 6:34), new mercies (Lam. 3:23) and new hope (2 Cor. 4:16) for every day this year."

This morning I didn't plan to start off my day with a prayer. It's not something I usually do first thing in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I want to develop the habit but my mornings are usually quite busy and when it's not (like the past 2 weeks since I've been on holidays) I like to lay still in bed, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. Mindlessly at times (as of recent), I check twitter. This morning, when I happened upon John Piper's tweet, I couldn't help but say aloud to myself "So true." And I immediately closed my eyes and spoke to God, acknowledging him as the God I love and serve as Lord and King, sovereign over all that happens in my life here on earth.

It's a new year and one that will indubitably be filled with promise, hope, dreams coming true (because God is always so good to us) but also one of trouble, frustration, anxiety, perhaps grief and sorrow, and pain. Let's not kid ourselves. The world isn't a happy place and unless you aren't human (or an escapist - but even then you still confront unwanted human emotions) you'll have to agree. One thing (okay, three things) I'm certain will remain unchangeable, unshakable, almighty, and loving throughout all my experiences and emotions this new year is God's presence, his power, and his peace. If we acknowledge Him in all things, I firmly believe that nothing will be able to rob us of the fullness of joy that is found in knowing that he is near at all times. Even those times when we don't feel him there.

So, cheers to a new year. May it bring each of us one step (or even more) closer to knowing ourselves and our Creator better so that we can joyfully live out the life he intends for us to live through Jesus - to the praise of His glory.

Winter Break

It's almost here. Two more days until my two week holiday. My much needed holiday. Being pregnant is finally catching up with me (aka. I'm tired). The pregnancy has been going surprisingly well so far. The first trimester was the worst, but only because I was super tired especially when I got home from work - like really tired. Like so tired I didn't want to get up off the couch and get myself a drink of water. My body just felt heavy (even though I didn't start showing until about a month or so ago) and I felt extremely lethargic. It's been a lot better since that 13 week hump, but I've always been one to be on the go and because I'm usually really busy working when I'm at work, I never feel the effects on my body until I get home. In short, I'm thankful for the break ahead.

My homeroom had a Secret Santa gift exchange today. It was their idea (I love them) and almost everyone participated which was nice to see. The hilarious moment of the exchange gift is noted below:

Vlad: "Mrs. Balce, someone gave me alcoholic chocolates!"
Me (gesturing to see the box in his hands): "What? Let me see that."
Me (reading the box): "Brandy Chocolates. 4.9% alcohol content. That's hilarious! Do you know who your Secret Santa is?" (Because in grade 7, it is very difficult to keep things to yourself)
Vlad: "Yeah. It was Simon."
Me (to Simon): "Simon! Why did you give him alcholic chocolates?"
Simon: "I didn't know there was alcohol in them. My mom got it and wrapped it for me."

???

I'm still trying to figure that out.

Seeds

After a pretty long hiatus, I've made a conscious decision to come back to the blogging world. I have to admit, reading through my old posts has made me miss it. So here I am again! Seeing as a new addition is coming and some major changes and adjustments are set to happen, I figured it would be pretty useful to start writing again (it will give me something to do when I'm on mat leave) and pretty cool to document life as it changes, grows, and becomes even more beautiful than it already is (all things considered). I have my Creator to thank for that!

So, hello again. Let me know you're still out there if you are!

The Resolve of Difference

I'm really excited to be back at work! No, really. After a good summer break and times of reflection, I feel like its time to get back into the swing of things...with a different kind of swing.

On another note, I have a good friend (who has requested to remain anonymous at this time) who is in need of your prayers. Just recently, this friend was given some surprising news about his health; basically, that he could have cancer. He is still undergoing some tests to confirm a diagnosis. Please pray for God's comfort to surround Him and lift his spirit; please pray that he will still believe and stand firm in God's love for him; and please pray that the test results will bear good news.

Thanks, you.

Settling the heart

Since the start of summer, unease has uncomfortably burrowed itself inside me with no apparent signs of leaving. I couldn't pinpoint the reason after much contemplative inquiry and prayer, and I still am not certain although I think a part of the unease is reflective of what I am doing (or not doing) in life and the conviction that I could be and do more. I'm not talking about moving up in the academic world, or looking for a different job, or making more money, or owning more material possessions. I'm talking about my identity as a child of God, as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, as a mere human who has been chosen and set apart by God to do and to be all that I was created to do and be in Christ. I can't help thinking that I've fallen short, and am falling short, of that. I guess in many ways the realization and unease is a good thing; I can't go on the same. Some things need to change. I need to change. At the same time, it hurts to know I've wasted too much time on things that don't matter and too much energy on tasks for the moment, for personal gain, for something to do.

I had the privilege this summer of visiting a place deemed one of the most beautiful places in the world - Hawai'i. Not quite a world away but definitely some beautiful landscapes to take in that (almost) make you forget the heaviness in your heart...or help you put it into perspective. I find that if anything, when a beautiful ocean sits before my eyes, or mountain summits, or a birds-eye view of the world below on an airplane ride to anywhere, the more I cannot help but reflect on my life, on life in general; the more questions arise, the more finite I feel, the more futility I determine in actions, the more doing and being make sense and in what order and how.

That probably made no sense at all.

So here I am again, looking for solace in writing but not so much for you as for me. My heart yearns for more than this and I am trusting that God will satisfy that more with Himself.

Five days left of work! The past week has been the slackest; I love it! No more late night planning, endless marking, having to deal with hormonic raging, ETC. I'm glad to have a break and am SO looking forward to summer. Next year is going to be interesting but I'm excited - I'm teaching Grade 7s for the first time! Thankfully, I have huge support and a lot of materials to peruse from the teachers at my school.

It's been an interesting two months (going from the date of my last blog) on all levels. God, in His infinite wisdom and love, allowed things to happen that did not make too much sense at the time but now do (to some degree). He always manages to keep us on our toes with things that matter the most to us so that we trust Him every step of the way.

I'm at work about to start my exam supervision. Til next time...