The Resolve of Difference

I'm really excited to be back at work! No, really. After a good summer break and times of reflection, I feel like its time to get back into the swing of things...with a different kind of swing.

On another note, I have a good friend (who has requested to remain anonymous at this time) who is in need of your prayers. Just recently, this friend was given some surprising news about his health; basically, that he could have cancer. He is still undergoing some tests to confirm a diagnosis. Please pray for God's comfort to surround Him and lift his spirit; please pray that he will still believe and stand firm in God's love for him; and please pray that the test results will bear good news.

Thanks, you.

Settling the heart

Since the start of summer, unease has uncomfortably burrowed itself inside me with no apparent signs of leaving. I couldn't pinpoint the reason after much contemplative inquiry and prayer, and I still am not certain although I think a part of the unease is reflective of what I am doing (or not doing) in life and the conviction that I could be and do more. I'm not talking about moving up in the academic world, or looking for a different job, or making more money, or owning more material possessions. I'm talking about my identity as a child of God, as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, as a mere human who has been chosen and set apart by God to do and to be all that I was created to do and be in Christ. I can't help thinking that I've fallen short, and am falling short, of that. I guess in many ways the realization and unease is a good thing; I can't go on the same. Some things need to change. I need to change. At the same time, it hurts to know I've wasted too much time on things that don't matter and too much energy on tasks for the moment, for personal gain, for something to do.

I had the privilege this summer of visiting a place deemed one of the most beautiful places in the world - Hawai'i. Not quite a world away but definitely some beautiful landscapes to take in that (almost) make you forget the heaviness in your heart...or help you put it into perspective. I find that if anything, when a beautiful ocean sits before my eyes, or mountain summits, or a birds-eye view of the world below on an airplane ride to anywhere, the more I cannot help but reflect on my life, on life in general; the more questions arise, the more finite I feel, the more futility I determine in actions, the more doing and being make sense and in what order and how.

That probably made no sense at all.

So here I am again, looking for solace in writing but not so much for you as for me. My heart yearns for more than this and I am trusting that God will satisfy that more with Himself.